There are few things that strike fear into the heart of a parent than a note home from a teacher. Especially one that politely requests a conference to address the behavior of your child.
I get used to notes about Joey. In fact, if I don't have one, I worry. What did he do that day? Was there a sub? Was he OK? WHERE THE HECK IS MY JOEY NOTE???
But Andy? Um, wrong child. But, you see, I think we are heading into the world of I Told You So. I've had Andy in ChildFind three times. His speech still lags. He's ADHD. Without that special ed support, we risk him getting a teacher with no clue how to keep his little derriere in his seat and his eyes on his desk long enough to get his work done. Because, see, there are secrets for doing it. On the other hand, we may just be reaching that point when the ADHD is just going to get in the way, and start having that negative impact on his academics and education that I've been told is going to happen, that I warned everyone (including this teacher) might happen, and usually does happen. We just thought it would happen sooner. Perhaps his other teachers had more experience in heading it off.
The day appears to be here.
We've been having a slow spiral into I Don't Want To Go To School and I Don't Want To Do Homework. I have put off the latter by reverting to positive reinforcement: do your homework, and you get to watch the show you wanted on TV, or get popcorn, or get a prize. Hey, it works. And besides, this lady is sending home huge amounts of homework. Now at least I know we'll only be at it about 45 minutes.
The former? Well, I need to get in there and see what is going awry. If he's in a noisy, distracting classroom, then he's likely to be uncomfortable and distracted. This will lead to behavior and focus issues. Which will lead to visits to the office. We don't want to go there.
We'll see how this teacher is going to handle the challenge.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Standards of Learning, Standards of Testing, And NonStandard Children
I have Joey's SOL scores. As far as i am concerned, a standardized test is just another instrument of evaluation, intended to give us information about my child. Whenever Joey is evaluated, there are questions I need answered about the tools used to evaluated him, so I can see what the test is telling me about him. What useful information have I gained from this instrument? What is it telling me about Joey and his development? What can be done to help him?
What I have learned from Joey's SOL scores is... he is autistic.
Well, I already knew that, thanks. there is nothing more to be learned here, as far as i can see. What good is that?
For one, the scores don't match abilities we know he has. Nor do they match the reports I am currently getting from school about his abilities and knowledge. What good is an evaluation that tells me absolutely nothing? In fact, it lies to me about what my child can do? Did I learn he has difficulty answering questions? I knew that already.
People want data, but I am not sure people understand what data is or what to do with it. Standardized tests provide data, but is it useful data? Useful for whom? Is it properly analyzed? Or will these scores simply be placed in a column as a negative against my son's school, and against my son? What does this data do to help anyone? Or know anything about... anything?
I am going to be scanning and sending this report to Joey's case manager, so tends to have a much better idea about what this data means, and how it can be used to help my Joey. I'll keep you posted as I keep thinking about standardization, and testing, and data. And Joey.
What I have learned from Joey's SOL scores is... he is autistic.
Well, I already knew that, thanks. there is nothing more to be learned here, as far as i can see. What good is that?
For one, the scores don't match abilities we know he has. Nor do they match the reports I am currently getting from school about his abilities and knowledge. What good is an evaluation that tells me absolutely nothing? In fact, it lies to me about what my child can do? Did I learn he has difficulty answering questions? I knew that already.
People want data, but I am not sure people understand what data is or what to do with it. Standardized tests provide data, but is it useful data? Useful for whom? Is it properly analyzed? Or will these scores simply be placed in a column as a negative against my son's school, and against my son? What does this data do to help anyone? Or know anything about... anything?
I am going to be scanning and sending this report to Joey's case manager, so tends to have a much better idea about what this data means, and how it can be used to help my Joey. I'll keep you posted as I keep thinking about standardization, and testing, and data. And Joey.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Bus Stop Conversations: Babysitters
Standing at our bus stop is always an interesting experience. I like our neighbors. We have 6 families who use our stop, with 3 who appear regularly. Most of the time we chat lightly about the kids, the teachers, stuff that I can click into mostly by talking about Andy. They ask about Joey, and are always very nice when he is at the stop (when his bus is late in the morning or early in the afternoon). Generally, it's all good.
And then sometimes, topics pop up that remind me that life is different on this side of the street. Usually, it is one of the other 3 families who come and pop into those topics to which I have little to add or are outside our experience entirely. And usually I just either stand there nodding as if I have a clue what their world is like, or strike up a conversation with Awesome Neighbor's grandparents, and drop away from the crowd. And sometimes, I'm cornered, and it can be a little awkward.
One of those topics that rears it's ugly head at the bus stop (and at other unfortunate moments) is babysitters. One of our bus stop families actually has a regular babysitter who gets the kids off the bus in the afternoon. Sometimes there is talk of regularly weekly or monthly outings, a phenomenon called "Date Night" in Momspeak. A couple of the families have whole weekends when they go away "without the kids." And these conversations and events usually lead to a conversation about babysitters: finding good ones, who to use, who not to use, who the regulars are, and even a discussion of "nannies" (by which they mean a sitter like our one family uses, who picks up and cares for the kids in the afternoons). Apparently, most people can pick up the phone, call in a local teenager or college student, and go out for drinks or dinner or even a whole weekend.
I bet for a lot of my readers, that is foreign concept, over which you are now boggling.
Several of the families noticed that we have been having a bit more trouble with Joey than usual over the past year. All of them know he is autistic and have now experienced a little of what that means for us. So whenever these conversations come up, almost invariably, someone suggests that I should "call a sitter" and "get some Mom time."
Seriously? And who do I call? That local teenager? Don't make me laugh.
When Joey was little, we had therapists who came to work with him for an hour or two at a time, mostly doing ABA therapies. These young people sometimes had some background of working with special needs kids. Sometimes we got a fully trained therapist, or a talented one (Hi, Miss Katie!), but mostly we got college kids who were vaguely interested in education careers and had some basic training in ABA and autism- very basic- and they mostly could at least deal with Joey for their two hours. And I would clean things, or play with Andy, or usually both. A few times I actually left the house to run an emergency errand. However, that was before Bolting Joey. And Biting My Arm Joey. And Everybody Hates Me Just Kill Me Now Joey.
We did try the teenager route a couple of times. Kids around here have to get in so much community service for their high school diploma, and babysitting a disabled kid fits that bill. However, you first have to ask the parents. "my kid is autistic" shut that down very quickly. And again, that was before Bolting Joey.
Even when we get people who know Joey to watch him, it can be an issue- problems can rear their ugly heads. It only take a minute for Joey to start the spiral into a meltdown. Or be gone.
Call a local teen with no training and no experience? Fat chance. Call a trained person? Any guesses how much that costs?
No, I don't think I will be calling in a babysitter on a whim any time soon, to run out for dinner and drinks with my husband tonight, but thanks for the suggestion. And the lecture about how I just need to call our babysitter. But give me a little notice, and I'll see what I can do. Not promising anything.
And then sometimes, topics pop up that remind me that life is different on this side of the street. Usually, it is one of the other 3 families who come and pop into those topics to which I have little to add or are outside our experience entirely. And usually I just either stand there nodding as if I have a clue what their world is like, or strike up a conversation with Awesome Neighbor's grandparents, and drop away from the crowd. And sometimes, I'm cornered, and it can be a little awkward.
One of those topics that rears it's ugly head at the bus stop (and at other unfortunate moments) is babysitters. One of our bus stop families actually has a regular babysitter who gets the kids off the bus in the afternoon. Sometimes there is talk of regularly weekly or monthly outings, a phenomenon called "Date Night" in Momspeak. A couple of the families have whole weekends when they go away "without the kids." And these conversations and events usually lead to a conversation about babysitters: finding good ones, who to use, who not to use, who the regulars are, and even a discussion of "nannies" (by which they mean a sitter like our one family uses, who picks up and cares for the kids in the afternoons). Apparently, most people can pick up the phone, call in a local teenager or college student, and go out for drinks or dinner or even a whole weekend.
I bet for a lot of my readers, that is foreign concept, over which you are now boggling.
Several of the families noticed that we have been having a bit more trouble with Joey than usual over the past year. All of them know he is autistic and have now experienced a little of what that means for us. So whenever these conversations come up, almost invariably, someone suggests that I should "call a sitter" and "get some Mom time."
Seriously? And who do I call? That local teenager? Don't make me laugh.
When Joey was little, we had therapists who came to work with him for an hour or two at a time, mostly doing ABA therapies. These young people sometimes had some background of working with special needs kids. Sometimes we got a fully trained therapist, or a talented one (Hi, Miss Katie!), but mostly we got college kids who were vaguely interested in education careers and had some basic training in ABA and autism- very basic- and they mostly could at least deal with Joey for their two hours. And I would clean things, or play with Andy, or usually both. A few times I actually left the house to run an emergency errand. However, that was before Bolting Joey. And Biting My Arm Joey. And Everybody Hates Me Just Kill Me Now Joey.
We did try the teenager route a couple of times. Kids around here have to get in so much community service for their high school diploma, and babysitting a disabled kid fits that bill. However, you first have to ask the parents. "my kid is autistic" shut that down very quickly. And again, that was before Bolting Joey.
Even when we get people who know Joey to watch him, it can be an issue- problems can rear their ugly heads. It only take a minute for Joey to start the spiral into a meltdown. Or be gone.
Call a local teen with no training and no experience? Fat chance. Call a trained person? Any guesses how much that costs?
No, I don't think I will be calling in a babysitter on a whim any time soon, to run out for dinner and drinks with my husband tonight, but thanks for the suggestion. And the lecture about how I just need to call our babysitter. But give me a little notice, and I'll see what I can do. Not promising anything.
Friday, September 09, 2011
Tired Old Arguments
I'm having one, the slow way- via email and facebook and twitter and stuff. And its the old one: would I rather my kid have autism or measles? And you know what? Its a completely stupid argument. Measles kills kids. No, not often, but often enough. It can lead to severe mental retardation/intellectual disability, and so can autism. But measles is preventable. So far, I'm not convinced that autism is, or at least we don't know how to prevent it. i can prevent measles with 99% accuracy.
My good friend from down the street is in Richmond today. In fact, she's been there all week. On the first day of school, we went out for chai, and it was a good thing- as I was dropping her off at her house, the school called to have her pick up one of her boys. By that evening, they were once again in fear of losing him- after ten seizures. And as far as they can tell, the only reason was he got a little fever.
I'm worried about her, and him. I'm worried about him, because hey, he's a little guy with lots of issues including seizures, and seizures are no joke. I worry about her sitting by him every time he gets a little cold, or a sore throat, or anything that might put his temp up a little, because it could trigger seizures, and they could lose him.
His brothers are also severely disabled, and have autism on top of the other issues of severe hydrocephalus they all share. This lady takes care of them, makes sure they get their food, they keep clean, they get time to play and move around and practice their walking and their swallowing. She is part of teaching them to feed themselves and communicate with modified signs. They laugh, they cry, they squeal, and the little guy even says hi.
And I come back to stupid arguments. Would she rather they be as they are, or possibly dead? And I can tell you what I would pick. I love those boys, as they are. She faces the possibility of losing one- any one of the three- at every moment. She works hard to keep them not only alive, but happy, growing, and learning. She is not interested in them suffering through measles on top of everything else, or risking death from it. Or seizures.
Stimey had a friend lose a son recently. I don't know what happened. But it wrenches me to even think about the possibilities of pain that Stimey's friend must be going through. It is unimaginable. May I never, never, never know what that feels like.
Which would I prefer, autistic or risk of dead? I'll take autistic.
My good friend from down the street is in Richmond today. In fact, she's been there all week. On the first day of school, we went out for chai, and it was a good thing- as I was dropping her off at her house, the school called to have her pick up one of her boys. By that evening, they were once again in fear of losing him- after ten seizures. And as far as they can tell, the only reason was he got a little fever.
I'm worried about her, and him. I'm worried about him, because hey, he's a little guy with lots of issues including seizures, and seizures are no joke. I worry about her sitting by him every time he gets a little cold, or a sore throat, or anything that might put his temp up a little, because it could trigger seizures, and they could lose him.
His brothers are also severely disabled, and have autism on top of the other issues of severe hydrocephalus they all share. This lady takes care of them, makes sure they get their food, they keep clean, they get time to play and move around and practice their walking and their swallowing. She is part of teaching them to feed themselves and communicate with modified signs. They laugh, they cry, they squeal, and the little guy even says hi.
And I come back to stupid arguments. Would she rather they be as they are, or possibly dead? And I can tell you what I would pick. I love those boys, as they are. She faces the possibility of losing one- any one of the three- at every moment. She works hard to keep them not only alive, but happy, growing, and learning. She is not interested in them suffering through measles on top of everything else, or risking death from it. Or seizures.
Stimey had a friend lose a son recently. I don't know what happened. But it wrenches me to even think about the possibilities of pain that Stimey's friend must be going through. It is unimaginable. May I never, never, never know what that feels like.
Which would I prefer, autistic or risk of dead? I'll take autistic.
Eleanor: There is everything in life, but hope.
Henry: We're both alive. And for all I know, that's what hope is.
-James Goldman, The Lion In Winter
Wednesday, September 07, 2011
Farewell, Fish
I came down the stairs today to find the fish had died.
I admit he was old. And he hasn't been looking too good the last couple of days. He wasn't an exciting fish, but there is something odd about looking at the counter and not seeing him. Seeing his tank cleared out, not hearing the steady bubble of his pump... its very disheartening. He was a pretty little rosy red minnow. The oldest I had ever heard of.
I buried him with his frozen fellow-tank-fatalities in the back garden.
I think that will be it for the fish. when you live in water, you're a little too delicate for me. I prefer small and furry. Maybe a mouse. But not right now.
Right now, I think I will look sadly at the empty little tank, and remember a quiet little friend.
I admit he was old. And he hasn't been looking too good the last couple of days. He wasn't an exciting fish, but there is something odd about looking at the counter and not seeing him. Seeing his tank cleared out, not hearing the steady bubble of his pump... its very disheartening. He was a pretty little rosy red minnow. The oldest I had ever heard of.
I buried him with his frozen fellow-tank-fatalities in the back garden.
I think that will be it for the fish. when you live in water, you're a little too delicate for me. I prefer small and furry. Maybe a mouse. But not right now.
Right now, I think I will look sadly at the empty little tank, and remember a quiet little friend.
Tuesday, September 06, 2011
Things That Make Me Happy Today
In no particular order.
1. Joey came home grinning from ear to ear and telling me what a good day he had. Smiling and speaking right off the bus? Right on!
2. Andy taking my hand to walk home.
3. New furniture, complete with plans to have a sewing chair.
4. JoeyAndyDad's grin when handed DQ for supper.
5. Mom hugs.
6. Warm kitty snuggled in the chair with me.
7. The first nip of fall in the air.
8. Orange mums.
9. Chai with my favorite redhead.
10. The ABC catalogue.
Hope you are having a fun, lovely, happy day!
1. Joey came home grinning from ear to ear and telling me what a good day he had. Smiling and speaking right off the bus? Right on!
2. Andy taking my hand to walk home.
3. New furniture, complete with plans to have a sewing chair.
4. JoeyAndyDad's grin when handed DQ for supper.
5. Mom hugs.
6. Warm kitty snuggled in the chair with me.
7. The first nip of fall in the air.
8. Orange mums.
9. Chai with my favorite redhead.
10. The ABC catalogue.
Hope you are having a fun, lovely, happy day!
Friday, September 02, 2011
End of Summer Blues
I find myself at the end of this summer in an emotional catch-22. I totally love my boys, and I love having them home to do fun stuff and hang out and be squished.
But I really have to be truthful sometimes: I am very ready for them to be back in school right now.
End of summer is always the apex of disastrous. The boys have been off schedule for so long, that even the artificial one of the last two weeks of summer is a joke to them, and they are totally helter-skelter. Usually I would be going in to teach twice a week, getting a breath, but the earthquake and hurricane canceled classes. Good for not having to find someone to watch two totally disregulated boys for a couple hours twice a week. Bad for no break from two totally disregulated boys in perpetual Witching Hour for two weeks.
Add to that Andy's new self-expression limit-pressing: smartmouth eye-roller. And Joey's usual echoing of phrases and sounds that may be extremely annoying, like phrases from Annoying Orange or pretending to cry like a baby.
It's a horrible, wrenching, tearing feeling to love your kids so much, and be so very ready for them to go do their own thing, and let you enjoy a moment of quiet. Which will then become an hour of quiet. And by the end of Day One, I will be nearly in tears missing them. Today, I was in tears wishing they would just behave like kids who had just been taken to an awesome pizza lunch, and not two hooligans who had no sense of gratitude in their bodies.
And I'd like to not feel guilty about wishing school would just go ahead and start already, so they can get into their routines and get regulated again.
But I really have to be truthful sometimes: I am very ready for them to be back in school right now.
End of summer is always the apex of disastrous. The boys have been off schedule for so long, that even the artificial one of the last two weeks of summer is a joke to them, and they are totally helter-skelter. Usually I would be going in to teach twice a week, getting a breath, but the earthquake and hurricane canceled classes. Good for not having to find someone to watch two totally disregulated boys for a couple hours twice a week. Bad for no break from two totally disregulated boys in perpetual Witching Hour for two weeks.
Add to that Andy's new self-expression limit-pressing: smartmouth eye-roller. And Joey's usual echoing of phrases and sounds that may be extremely annoying, like phrases from Annoying Orange or pretending to cry like a baby.
It's a horrible, wrenching, tearing feeling to love your kids so much, and be so very ready for them to go do their own thing, and let you enjoy a moment of quiet. Which will then become an hour of quiet. And by the end of Day One, I will be nearly in tears missing them. Today, I was in tears wishing they would just behave like kids who had just been taken to an awesome pizza lunch, and not two hooligans who had no sense of gratitude in their bodies.
And I'd like to not feel guilty about wishing school would just go ahead and start already, so they can get into their routines and get regulated again.
Thursday, September 01, 2011
Andy's Open House
Well, that went... weird.
There is a standard format for open house around here. You show up sometime in the time slot provided (1-3 or 5-7 for Andy's school), stand in line to get the name of your kid's teacher, roam about until you find their classroom, dump the large bag of school supplies on the desk with your kid's name, shake hands with the teacher, convey vital info (my kid needs a lot of structure! or my kid is on these meds! that sort of thing), and leave. It takes about half an hour, with the wandering and line waiting and sometimes you have to wait a little to shake the teacher's hand.
So we had a little trouble deciding on lunch, and Joey was at Grandma's, so we decided to just go over, do the open house thing, and then do the lunch thing.
We walked into a big, formalized program with, like, sessions and stuff. Apparently, someone thought parents had a couple hours to kill the week before school started, and should spend all of it at the orientation session. Only they didn't tell any of the parents there was going to be this formal session format thing, and parents were wandering in whenever, just like usual. And they didn't tell the secretaries, who at first set up to do the lines for getting the parents informed of teacher names, then suddenly had to just rush everyone in so the principal could do the keynote thing. I'm not sure how much warning the teachers had, but I got the distinct feeling it wasn't much.
Consequently, very weird. No way to have that quick, private two minutes to tell the teacher your kid has some minor little difficulty that just needs to be known so it won't be a problem. No time to personally connect with the teacher, because they ar busy giving a little presentation to everybody. It was really, really weird.
If people had known it was going to be a two-hour formal-session event, it would have been fine. Even awesome. Say your info once or twice, instead of repeating it with every handshake or expecting the parents to read anything. Have a little tour of the school and the specials classrooms. Break up the crowd so you know you on;y have a certain number in an area at any one time, avoiding bottlenecks. But they didn't bother to tell anybody, so we had us who really needed to skedaddle and feed our kid. We had lost, confused parents wandering in the classroom at the end of the little presentation, looking embarrassed and feeling uncomfortable as they disrupted the little session they didn't know they were supposed to be attending. It was really, really bad.
The teacher seems OK, and I have heard good things about the class (this is the teacher's seventh year at our school, an all seven years have been at this level) and the pod (the group of 2-4 teachers who divide the students up into smaller math and reading groups in a few weeks- allows more individualization in smaller groups, as you can have each teacher specialize in certain levels of a skill, instead of everybody trying to do the whole spectrum of skill sets. In a given set of time, a teacher can do what? two groups? three? And instead of having a kid have a choice of three levels, with a pod of 3 the child can now be in any of 6-9 levels!). It is a regular-ed setting, which is a new world for us, as Andy has been in inclusion classrooms the last two years. It is a larger class than he is used to, so I don't know how that will play out- it seemed to be a full set of 28.
The teacher seemed well organized, and is going to have a website for us to check on homework things and projects, and any supplies or volunteers needed or wanted. She is going to do homework packets, so we can better work around our sports and therapy schedules, totally awesome. The first week will be read for ten minutes and then write two sentences, which I think is a great thing- for one, we know what is coming for the first week, and for two, Andy can use refreshment and reinforcement in writing (sorry, folks expecting my boys to write letters to them this summer- it didn't happen because I suck). So all in all, things are looking just groovy on the Andy front.
Tomorrow: rest and relaxation. School's coming.
There is a standard format for open house around here. You show up sometime in the time slot provided (1-3 or 5-7 for Andy's school), stand in line to get the name of your kid's teacher, roam about until you find their classroom, dump the large bag of school supplies on the desk with your kid's name, shake hands with the teacher, convey vital info (my kid needs a lot of structure! or my kid is on these meds! that sort of thing), and leave. It takes about half an hour, with the wandering and line waiting and sometimes you have to wait a little to shake the teacher's hand.
So we had a little trouble deciding on lunch, and Joey was at Grandma's, so we decided to just go over, do the open house thing, and then do the lunch thing.
We walked into a big, formalized program with, like, sessions and stuff. Apparently, someone thought parents had a couple hours to kill the week before school started, and should spend all of it at the orientation session. Only they didn't tell any of the parents there was going to be this formal session format thing, and parents were wandering in whenever, just like usual. And they didn't tell the secretaries, who at first set up to do the lines for getting the parents informed of teacher names, then suddenly had to just rush everyone in so the principal could do the keynote thing. I'm not sure how much warning the teachers had, but I got the distinct feeling it wasn't much.
Consequently, very weird. No way to have that quick, private two minutes to tell the teacher your kid has some minor little difficulty that just needs to be known so it won't be a problem. No time to personally connect with the teacher, because they ar busy giving a little presentation to everybody. It was really, really weird.
If people had known it was going to be a two-hour formal-session event, it would have been fine. Even awesome. Say your info once or twice, instead of repeating it with every handshake or expecting the parents to read anything. Have a little tour of the school and the specials classrooms. Break up the crowd so you know you on;y have a certain number in an area at any one time, avoiding bottlenecks. But they didn't bother to tell anybody, so we had us who really needed to skedaddle and feed our kid. We had lost, confused parents wandering in the classroom at the end of the little presentation, looking embarrassed and feeling uncomfortable as they disrupted the little session they didn't know they were supposed to be attending. It was really, really bad.
The teacher seems OK, and I have heard good things about the class (this is the teacher's seventh year at our school, an all seven years have been at this level) and the pod (the group of 2-4 teachers who divide the students up into smaller math and reading groups in a few weeks- allows more individualization in smaller groups, as you can have each teacher specialize in certain levels of a skill, instead of everybody trying to do the whole spectrum of skill sets. In a given set of time, a teacher can do what? two groups? three? And instead of having a kid have a choice of three levels, with a pod of 3 the child can now be in any of 6-9 levels!). It is a regular-ed setting, which is a new world for us, as Andy has been in inclusion classrooms the last two years. It is a larger class than he is used to, so I don't know how that will play out- it seemed to be a full set of 28.
The teacher seemed well organized, and is going to have a website for us to check on homework things and projects, and any supplies or volunteers needed or wanted. She is going to do homework packets, so we can better work around our sports and therapy schedules, totally awesome. The first week will be read for ten minutes and then write two sentences, which I think is a great thing- for one, we know what is coming for the first week, and for two, Andy can use refreshment and reinforcement in writing (sorry, folks expecting my boys to write letters to them this summer- it didn't happen because I suck). So all in all, things are looking just groovy on the Andy front.
Tomorrow: rest and relaxation. School's coming.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Good Vibrations
Joey's school open house was this afternoon- our first back-to-school event! And it wasn't an IEP meeting! Hooray!
I got to meet the new team. Apparently after some scrambling and threats to force the principal to call me and explain why certain things were or were not happening, Joey's education team is nicely settled in 4 classrooms grouped at the end of one hall, so everybody can chat and pass him around as needed. Everybody also seems to understand the plan is to go with the flow, and if something happens that isn't groovy, its time to chat it up and work it out. Awesome.
Joey gets to start off the year in a good chunk of self-contained class to keep him in small groups, where he seems to work best. He will, however, have a regular class homeroom and a regular class math group to start. Not inclusion- regular. He imitates inappropriate behaviors too readily, so they are trying to re-incorporate him with his old upper-group regular-ed buddies. His math friends are used to him, he's used to them, and he'll have a lifeguard if he runs into trouble, plus the other three classrooms nearby are full of friends, both peer and adult, to help. We're hoping this gives Joey some sense of safety, or at least comfort, so he can function. Also, boredom is not our friend. He needs very advanced math, or we risk a mess.
The plan is to slowly move him into regular-class reading groups as well, but to keep him in smaller-setting situations for what would normally be large group in a regular-ed class (ie, science, social studies, shared reading, writing, etc). He will also be with his regular ed class for "specials" (art, music, library, computer, health, phys ed) and recess, to keep those kids more used to him, to keep him more used to them, and to keep him away from behaviors and issues of the special needs classrooms that were feeding problem fires. His lifeguard will be present in all of these regular-ed settings. At least that's my current understanding, and not having one in these situations would be perilous- we still have the threat of bolting to contend with, after all.
So we seem to all be on board, ready to go, and we exchanged email and cell contact info.
I returned later with Joey's school supplies, and had another solid chat with the self-contained teacher. We have a better personality fit than last year's teacher, which makes it easier to exchange info; also, she's worked with Joey before, so could understand more of what I was trying to communicate. All good. Yay!
Am I still nervous? Oh, yeah. Last year was a total disaster. I didn't know how anxious I was until i started driving away at least, and realized I was shaking, and started to cry. I think it's going to be a much better year, with a more solidly prepared team. But it is still school. And one never knows.
Tomorrow: Andy's open house. Erp.
I got to meet the new team. Apparently after some scrambling and threats to force the principal to call me and explain why certain things were or were not happening, Joey's education team is nicely settled in 4 classrooms grouped at the end of one hall, so everybody can chat and pass him around as needed. Everybody also seems to understand the plan is to go with the flow, and if something happens that isn't groovy, its time to chat it up and work it out. Awesome.
Joey gets to start off the year in a good chunk of self-contained class to keep him in small groups, where he seems to work best. He will, however, have a regular class homeroom and a regular class math group to start. Not inclusion- regular. He imitates inappropriate behaviors too readily, so they are trying to re-incorporate him with his old upper-group regular-ed buddies. His math friends are used to him, he's used to them, and he'll have a lifeguard if he runs into trouble, plus the other three classrooms nearby are full of friends, both peer and adult, to help. We're hoping this gives Joey some sense of safety, or at least comfort, so he can function. Also, boredom is not our friend. He needs very advanced math, or we risk a mess.
The plan is to slowly move him into regular-class reading groups as well, but to keep him in smaller-setting situations for what would normally be large group in a regular-ed class (ie, science, social studies, shared reading, writing, etc). He will also be with his regular ed class for "specials" (art, music, library, computer, health, phys ed) and recess, to keep those kids more used to him, to keep him more used to them, and to keep him away from behaviors and issues of the special needs classrooms that were feeding problem fires. His lifeguard will be present in all of these regular-ed settings. At least that's my current understanding, and not having one in these situations would be perilous- we still have the threat of bolting to contend with, after all.
So we seem to all be on board, ready to go, and we exchanged email and cell contact info.
I returned later with Joey's school supplies, and had another solid chat with the self-contained teacher. We have a better personality fit than last year's teacher, which makes it easier to exchange info; also, she's worked with Joey before, so could understand more of what I was trying to communicate. All good. Yay!
Am I still nervous? Oh, yeah. Last year was a total disaster. I didn't know how anxious I was until i started driving away at least, and realized I was shaking, and started to cry. I think it's going to be a much better year, with a more solidly prepared team. But it is still school. And one never knows.
Tomorrow: Andy's open house. Erp.
Have a Kid Heading to School? Go Read This Stimey Post.
Hey, this is supposed to be a resource blog. This post rocks for prepping for school. Adding it to the resource list.
Friday, August 26, 2011
To Marty's Playland and the Trimper Family
Dear Folks Who Buy the Prizes For the Antique Cranes:
Please take a long, close look at this photo. See the baby in the background? That's me. I'm going to be... a lot older in December. I'm in Marty's in this photo because my parents thought it was fun to show those antique cranes. After all, they had played them as kids, as had their own parents. It was important to have their kids come to Marty's, to see and play those cranes.
Take a closer look. See how the bottom is filled with sand, and the prizes are stuck in it? Pretty cool, huh? And when I got a little older, the bottom was filled with tiny little seashells. There was little more exciting to me than when the claw scooped up a prize- or even better, a tiny seashell.
Now take a look at this one. this is my own son, overjoyed because the claw picked up a spring thing. It didn't pick something up every time, but it was totally awesome when it did, and it did more times than not. We ended up with a lovely bag of little plastic cars, rings, poppers, aliens, erasers, baseball cards, witchfingers... small prizes that not only kept us coming back to the cranes, but to Marty's Playland. Not only were we in the habit of spending long happy afternoons in front of the cranes, but also the skeeball, the coin-pushers, the roll-ball poker machines...
That picture is, unfortunately, two years old. Last year, you started putting in prizes that the claw had no chance of picking up. This year, you added to the insult by raising the price to 25 cents.
I don't mind the price change. I'm sure they started off as a penny, when my grandparents were loving them. They have been 10 cents as long as I can remember (we always called them the "10-cent cranes"). Keeping up antique machines is likely to be expensive, and the prices of the prizes- well, you could tell they were going up. Those springs are now retailed from Oriental Traditng Company for 2 cents. A little popper thing, the prize my other child liked most, now retails from Oriental Trading Company for a whole .04 cents (yes, I am aware other places sell them cheaper).
I do mind the prize change.
See, part of the charm of the cranes was going out with a bag full of those little toys. If you managed to snag a pen- the sign of a true crane master- you got a bigger prize. When I was younger, the prizes where indeed bigger- in size. Not in price. Blow-mold plastic was cheaper then. Getting a little acryllic animal (imitating those fine little glass ones) was a treasure to keep. Oh, yes, I still have them- from when I was seven.
How important are those cranes to your business? I don't know. But I can tell you that with the change, when we had a chance over our week stay to go to an arcade again, we didn't go to Marty's. We went a block down from our apartment, and had a ball, and got a lot more tickets that got us a lot more prizes. Any other year, we would have gone to Marty's. Every other year, we HAVE gone to Marty's.
And next year? We are considering if there are places other than Ocean City to take our vacation.
All for 2 cents. Seem strange? That's what happens when traditions are snapped.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Earthquake!
Joey and Andy have been having a Pinball Day. As in, they have been bouncing about like pinballs. Eep.
We pulled up to a gas station, and waited for the pump to fill the tank. Suddenly, the car starts bouncing about as if... well, as if little boys decided to bounce energetically in the back.
"What was that?" I turned sharply about, my own nerves already well-frayed. However, both boys and Evan were firmly strapped in their seats.
I hopped out and took a look, and there was a sheepish-looking man with his hand on my car. Why is he rocking me car? I thought. That's just weird. The car in front of us moved, so I moved up, and pumped the gas, and headed out to the post office. Joey was really upset, especially since he was already off-kilter, and started talking constantly and loudly about things like being shaken and other indications that he was pretty scared.
That's when I got a text from JoeyAndyDad. You OK?
OK? We're fine, why?
Earthquake. 5.8, centered in Mineral.
Wowzers kazowzers. That's only about 30 miles southwest of us. We headed back to Mom's house to check on it, but nothing was even out of place.
My house? Evan says some of the pictures upstairs are slightly askew. And that's it.
All around us? People talking about stuff on the floor, chimneys falling, awnings coming down.
But folks, we're fine. A litle shaken, not stirred. Next adventure: Irene. Due on Saturday. I'll keep you posted.
We pulled up to a gas station, and waited for the pump to fill the tank. Suddenly, the car starts bouncing about as if... well, as if little boys decided to bounce energetically in the back.
"What was that?" I turned sharply about, my own nerves already well-frayed. However, both boys and Evan were firmly strapped in their seats.
I hopped out and took a look, and there was a sheepish-looking man with his hand on my car. Why is he rocking me car? I thought. That's just weird. The car in front of us moved, so I moved up, and pumped the gas, and headed out to the post office. Joey was really upset, especially since he was already off-kilter, and started talking constantly and loudly about things like being shaken and other indications that he was pretty scared.
That's when I got a text from JoeyAndyDad. You OK?
OK? We're fine, why?
Earthquake. 5.8, centered in Mineral.
Wowzers kazowzers. That's only about 30 miles southwest of us. We headed back to Mom's house to check on it, but nothing was even out of place.
My house? Evan says some of the pictures upstairs are slightly askew. And that's it.
All around us? People talking about stuff on the floor, chimneys falling, awnings coming down.
But folks, we're fine. A litle shaken, not stirred. Next adventure: Irene. Due on Saturday. I'll keep you posted.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Tuesday, August 09, 2011
I know, I suck.
Why haven't I been posting much?
I have Andy home now. No camp this week.
We just a new book out, and I have been running about trying to sell it and get copies into the hands of reviewers and such.
Pot Luck Magazine is finally ready to be laid out, and I now have it done, except I need to get the main file and the cover to integrate, and it won't.
I had to grade finals and report grades. Then I had to start formatting and tweaking my fall classes. And I have to have it done now, because we'll be at the beach next week.
We'll be at the beach next week, so I have get everything settled and ready to go, all hands on deck. Fortunately, we have extra hands this year, but it still takes a lot of prep to take the boys on a long trip.
We got some payments on our genealogy contract that had to be processed.
My brain is fried.
I am planning on consuming a good amount of beer next week. Or at least dreaming of consuming beer next week. The apartment doesn't have high-speed internet access, so there may be a few posts, but I'm not guaranteeing anything. I'll be on vacation, after all.
I have Andy home now. No camp this week.
We just a new book out, and I have been running about trying to sell it and get copies into the hands of reviewers and such.
Pot Luck Magazine is finally ready to be laid out, and I now have it done, except I need to get the main file and the cover to integrate, and it won't.
I had to grade finals and report grades. Then I had to start formatting and tweaking my fall classes. And I have to have it done now, because we'll be at the beach next week.
We'll be at the beach next week, so I have get everything settled and ready to go, all hands on deck. Fortunately, we have extra hands this year, but it still takes a lot of prep to take the boys on a long trip.
We got some payments on our genealogy contract that had to be processed.
My brain is fried.
I am planning on consuming a good amount of beer next week. Or at least dreaming of consuming beer next week. The apartment doesn't have high-speed internet access, so there may be a few posts, but I'm not guaranteeing anything. I'll be on vacation, after all.
Wednesday, August 03, 2011
New Design: Choose Kindness
Our latest design! Woo-hoo! I am also adding some of the new products to my older sections.
Tuesday, August 02, 2011
Joey See, Joey Do
I now have a mortal enemy. And his name is Annoying Orange.
I refuse to link to any of the videos of this nasty, inappropriate critter. Take my word for it. The video character is very aptly named. Unfortunately, he is also very striking and memorable, and thus very striking and memorable to imitate, despite his behavior being, well, annoying. And insulting. And offensive. And ugly.
Some of Joey's friends are very into Annoying Orange. They, and many of their parents, think it is funny. They also apparently think it is OK material for their 7-to-10- year-olds to be watching. I am hoping for the best by assuming they use it to discuss why the orange is annoying and so why you want to avoid his behavior. But alas, the majority of children we know who watch this trash are echolalic and imitative. Children such as... Joey.
So the other day, while they were eating snacks in the cafeteria, Joey thought it would be funny to throw his lunchbag at his teacher's face, in a "remake of Annoying Orange." He and his buddy D thought it terribly funny, especially when she gasped- a sound Joey has been finding hilarious this week. Needless to say, the teacher was not pleased. And Joey realized quickly that he had done something that had made her not pleased. The spiral spun to disaster from there.
The good news is that people who needed a good look at what our life has been like for the past year got a spectacularly dramatic view of it, and can now better work on helping improve it.
The other good news is Annoying Orange is now officially banned from my house. In fact, we may be watching a lot of Little Bear, Franklin, and Peep for a while. I may try to sneak in a Mr. Rogers. You know, some positive behavior models. I don't get to choose who he imitates, but I can do my best to present him with all the good models I can lay hands on.
And personally, I like Quack the Duck much better. He at least says "please".
I refuse to link to any of the videos of this nasty, inappropriate critter. Take my word for it. The video character is very aptly named. Unfortunately, he is also very striking and memorable, and thus very striking and memorable to imitate, despite his behavior being, well, annoying. And insulting. And offensive. And ugly.
Some of Joey's friends are very into Annoying Orange. They, and many of their parents, think it is funny. They also apparently think it is OK material for their 7-to-10- year-olds to be watching. I am hoping for the best by assuming they use it to discuss why the orange is annoying and so why you want to avoid his behavior. But alas, the majority of children we know who watch this trash are echolalic and imitative. Children such as... Joey.
So the other day, while they were eating snacks in the cafeteria, Joey thought it would be funny to throw his lunchbag at his teacher's face, in a "remake of Annoying Orange." He and his buddy D thought it terribly funny, especially when she gasped- a sound Joey has been finding hilarious this week. Needless to say, the teacher was not pleased. And Joey realized quickly that he had done something that had made her not pleased. The spiral spun to disaster from there.
The good news is that people who needed a good look at what our life has been like for the past year got a spectacularly dramatic view of it, and can now better work on helping improve it.
The other good news is Annoying Orange is now officially banned from my house. In fact, we may be watching a lot of Little Bear, Franklin, and Peep for a while. I may try to sneak in a Mr. Rogers. You know, some positive behavior models. I don't get to choose who he imitates, but I can do my best to present him with all the good models I can lay hands on.
And personally, I like Quack the Duck much better. He at least says "please".
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Up up and away!
There is absolutely, positively no doubt that I have two happy boys this summer. And I cannot tell you how wonderful it is to be able to type that sentence, and spread it to everyone who reads here, knowing how many of you can truly appreciate what that sentence really and truly means. Even knowing those of you who can only get a faint echo of what it means, you can get the vibe. May it help the tides of your own lives.
How awesome is it to sit in a restaurant, one that Joey picked out- voluntarily picked out, all by himself- and have to speak to him about talking too much? Right after school? Or have to scold him a little for playing too rough with his uncle Evan. Do you understand what it means that he is playing with another human being? At all? I have to be ready for Friday, because we are going to be baking up a storm... because when I asked Joey what he wants to do, he says, "Let's bake cake and cookies!" He wants to do something- he can vocalize it- he really gets excited about it!
Yes, we still have meltdowns. Yes, I had to pull him upstairs a couple of time in the last week or so to discuss the "I want to kill myself" assertions and how to deal with frustration. He still has no patience whatsoever. Ups means there will be downs. BUt I'll take the massive ups we're having. Yes, and twice on Sundays, with every down I've had.
Andy is loving himself some camp, too. He's decided he likes art better than scootering, though I think there are two main reasons for that outside of his love of art: his little ladyfriend, and being teased because his scooter isn't one of the shiny new kind. He decided he likes his scooter, but no so much the other boys who go scootering at camp. Art is more fun because the company is more fun. I know this, because we've had several talks about it. I was worried he wouldn't want his scooter after being teased about it, but he loves his scooter. He won it at the auction and painted it himself, after all. That's my boy.
So here's to summer. May yours be as gloriously wonderful as mine!
How awesome is it to sit in a restaurant, one that Joey picked out- voluntarily picked out, all by himself- and have to speak to him about talking too much? Right after school? Or have to scold him a little for playing too rough with his uncle Evan. Do you understand what it means that he is playing with another human being? At all? I have to be ready for Friday, because we are going to be baking up a storm... because when I asked Joey what he wants to do, he says, "Let's bake cake and cookies!" He wants to do something- he can vocalize it- he really gets excited about it!
Yes, we still have meltdowns. Yes, I had to pull him upstairs a couple of time in the last week or so to discuss the "I want to kill myself" assertions and how to deal with frustration. He still has no patience whatsoever. Ups means there will be downs. BUt I'll take the massive ups we're having. Yes, and twice on Sundays, with every down I've had.
Andy is loving himself some camp, too. He's decided he likes art better than scootering, though I think there are two main reasons for that outside of his love of art: his little ladyfriend, and being teased because his scooter isn't one of the shiny new kind. He decided he likes his scooter, but no so much the other boys who go scootering at camp. Art is more fun because the company is more fun. I know this, because we've had several talks about it. I was worried he wouldn't want his scooter after being teased about it, but he loves his scooter. He won it at the auction and painted it himself, after all. That's my boy.
So here's to summer. May yours be as gloriously wonderful as mine!
Monday, July 18, 2011
The Big Picture
I often think Joey's life is kind of like this- waiting for us to see the big picture.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
At the Aquarium
We had our Big Summer Trip today: the Aquarium in Baltimore! This is always a big adventure, because it is a long drive, then a trip through dark, crowded places, then an exhausting drive home. In the past, Joey has had trouble dealing with the dark, with the crowds, with the fish, and with the whole overwhelming experience. But this year, we have the return of Happy Joey- so we decided to give it a try.
Joey was so excited to be going to the aquarium, he was up at 2 am, singing to me in bed. At 5 am, he was dressed and informing us (who were still in bed) that it was time to go to the aquarium. Yes, he was a little excited. We left about 6, because we wanted to be there when it opened to mitigate the crowds. Also, we were technically going with Team Stimey, though I got to see Stimey for all of... ten minutes? And I think we had an opportunity to say about three sentences to each other. The Aquarium is an all-hand-on-deck proposition, and all hands were busy.
Both boys were very, very happy once we arrived. They were excited to see fish, they were excited to sharks, they were excited to see turtles. Happy happy boys. That is the way it should be. We took the usual route through the sharks, up through the different waterways to the rainforest and coral reef. We were hoping to make it through the Australia exhibit this time, but no dice, we wore out. At least Joey as very happy through the whole thing, and really took time to look at the fish, not just glance at the cases and cope with the dark and crowd. 
We tried at first to stick together, but JoeyAndyDad and I split up at last so Joey could take some breaks and Andy could go ahead and look at stuff and not wait around. Team Stimey came in behind us and we all met up at the top of the Coral Reef. Andy liked to get Joey's attention by grabbing his head or neck, and physically pointing Joey's face where to look. It was effective. 
It was wonderful to see Joey actually looking at the fish, not just glancing at them. He would actually watch each case for a while, talking about the fish and animals he saw, noting that fish need to live in water (and couldn't come to his pond...) He was especially entranced by the octopus (no photography allowed of the octopus, but he was AWESOME) and the divers feeding the fish in the coral reef. He also liked to point out turtles everywhere. He was so interested, I am going to fish out some of the book I have bought him about fish and reefs and see if he will look at them. 
Andy liked the rainforest and the exhibits about the Amazon basin. There were alligators, rays, and lots of frogs. Even he wore out at last, though he wouldn't admit it- he wanted to go see the jellyfish and hang out more with Team Stimey (Andy loves him some Sam!) 
Andy was especially fond of the rainforest itself. HE saw it three times- once with Dad, once showing Joey to get him caught up, and one more time with Team Stimey, to get them caught up. He's fond of these open aviary type exhibits, seeing the birds fly and everything with no cage separating him from them. He also got to see a sloth and several nice tortoises. Joey was more interested in the parrots. 
Andy even got to feed some of the birds- one of the staff gave him some mealworms to put out, and the birds came right up to get them. He was as happy to be able to actually touch mealworms as he was to have the birds come eat them. He saw the Wild Kratts feeding mealworms to aardvarks and was really interested in them, so getting to hold real ones was awesome. 
The boys liked the frog exhibits, too. For some reason, Andy was calling the yellow tree frogs "ninja frogs", but apparently this added to the charm. Andy also wanted to show Team Stimey the frogs, but mostly ended up fascinated by Sam by the time we got back to them. Though I didn't get to see them as much as I would have liked, Team Stimey was awesome as ever. We had lunch at the (very expensive) cafe before attempting the coral reef. It was a nice place, because you could see the whole harbor, and watch the dragon-shaped paddle boats skimming about. Apparently there was also a "ghost boat" in the water, but I didn't see it.
Finally, it was time to hit the reef. It was feeding time, so there was a diver there talking about caring for the reef and the fish. As I was leading Joey around to see him, a wail went up- alarm! alert! Danger, Mom Robinson!
The problem was that Joey had dropped his totem green sparkly pencil into the water, and couldn't reach it. This was a calamity on several levels- Joey's totems keep him calm, so we really needed the pencil; and we were afraid the fish might try to eat it (or at least the eraser) and get hurt. Andy dashed over to the diver for help; and he kindly thanked us for letting them know so they could get it out of the water, and he sent one of the divers ho was feeding fish to retrieve it for us. 
We got to see the diver swim over and rescue the pencil, very exciting. She handed it to Joey, who was ecstatic and thanked her enthusiastically. He then was very excited to see her feeding fish a few minutes later as we descended into the reef. And while the boys were bouncing about, excited about the diver and the fish and the pencil and everything, Andy lost a flipflop. Yep, it fell right between the grate and the glass of the tank, and landed just about the lighted shark silhouettes- and out of reach. I got a staff member, who kindly went to get someone with a pole. He came back to stand with me while I waited, and apologize for the wait (I must have looked as tired and exasperated as I felt), and tried to make me feel better.
"Oh, don't worry, M'am; a few minutes ago, someone's kid dropped a pencil in the tank and they had to send a diver over..."
I had to tell him that was us. I think he got his laugh for the day.
In the end, the flipflop was retrieved, we went to see the dolphins, and all was well with the world. We were worn out, so we hit the gift shop and headed home. But hey, never a dull moment.
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