Sunday, January 18, 2009

Notes to self

If you have two computers, and one is larger and gotten dinosaur stickers stuck all over it, guess which computer both children want to play on?

A crayon lost too close to the fireplace will melt if you light a fire.

If today is the day your father has decided to make an appearance, it is not the day to forget to take your antidepressants.

Do not leave blankets lying on the floor around the house. Cats prefer them to litter boxes.
Corollary: Cat pee rolls off cheap pressed-polyester blankets. Have paper towels handy.

If your child is looking pale, refusing pizza, and seeming to cover his mouth with his hand, it is already too late to get him to the bathroom. Just get a mop.

Do not tip the waitress at the restaurant who makes you do the mopping.


Sue said...

Hmm, looks like you had an interesting day! Hope tomorrow is better. It's already tomorrow in Australia! :)

Niksmom said...

Oof! And that last point...please tell me they didn't! Oh my fracking hell!

Hope everyone feels better now. xo

bobbie said...

All words of wisdom that we should observe without fail.

Sorry you had such a day - or two.

Stuart said...

LOL... as someone who's waited tables, I can honestly say, my job is to take your order, bring your food and drink, and carry away the plates. Vomit-mopping is your job! If not tipping makes you feel better, then you do what you gotta do.

Joeymom said...

I have waited tables, too. And I assure you, your job is to provide service to the customer, and handing one a mop instead of allowing that customer to care for her child is COMPLETELY inappropriate.