As The Mind Turns

Did you guess that it has been a long week?

I sit now, in a break from reading essays, curled in the bedroom chair, the cats asleep. One is sprawled over the bed, taking up the whole thing as only a cat (or small boy) can. The other has languidly spread herself over the top of the chair. With the boys downstairs, stillness reigns. It is an odd, rare moment here. The IEP is mostly done, and we take a breath before working on the ESY piece and putting together the material for fighting the OT piece. The job interview has come and gone, and I now find myself worrying about what I said or did or what I might need to do, for a job it is highly likely I will not get. The mind races, the wheels spin, and I begin to wonder what things I ought to be doing but haven't done yet, what should be done first in the long list of things that are needful.

The mind spins.

It is supposed to storm today. I can see the deepening grey of the clouds, the stark green of spring leaves against the gathering storm. The greying sky makes the new leaves seem almost neon, almost glowing in brilliance. You don't get that effect in summer. The light doesn't play through the older, darker greenery of summer in the same way. It's a spring thing.

I'm gearing up for summer. I know I have at least one week of both boys together, and one week of Joey alone. I wish I could get my embroidery machine up and running- the toy I asked for two Christmases ago now, and still haven't gotten far enough in life to even get out of the box- I could make merit patches for the boys to earn. If I knew how to get my own designs into the computer of the machine, of course. That first week we could do some traveling, I am putting some money away for it. Down to Williamsburg. Up to the zoo. The usual, familiar haunts to greet the coming of summer. We could put our feet into the water at Colonial Beach, maybe find some shark's teeth in Westmoreland Park. Or maybe we could find something new. That second week, it is time to send Andy off to camp, and find something for Joey. He did weather camp last year, and space camp, and vehicles. It is a little too soon to really ask him- we're almost two months out- but I need to start thinking about materials and projects and what we can do.

I've signed Andy up for t-ball and camps, and Joey looks like he'll have four weeks in a big school program, and I've requested at least two more weeks of programming of some kind for him. A five-week school hiatus in August would be a disaster. On the other hand, where they plunk those two weeks could be important for us; when will we go to the beach? Joey so loves the beach. Which school will I be working for? One semester starts sooner than the other.

Whirr, whirr, whirr.

What materials should I put together for Joey's new teachers? I wish they had several inclusion rooms, instead of just one for each level. Is there such a sharp drop-off in kids in special ed? I wonder if he's being "stuck" into an inclusion room instead of sent out into the "regular" rooms because he needs an aide, and they don't want to hire one. What happens if they find they need to send him out, for academic and/or social reasons? Should I have pressed for an aide? Should I have asked more questions? Who will be Joey's case manager in his new school? Why wasn't it made clear at the meeting?

I need to find something fun for Andy to be doing while we are at Joey's games. He's feeling left aside, the game is boring to him since he can't play in it. There are a few other siblings hanging around, maybe something can be organized for them. Some way they can participate and join in. There must at least be a way to let them know they are not forgotten. What do siblings normally do at the games of their brothers or sisters?

I need to go to the grocery store tonight. We're out of yogurt and cat food.

When does the spin cycle end?