What I Learned In New Jersey

1. Going 30 hours without boys to squish really, really sucks. Well, I knew that already...

2. At least one of my colleagues has an adult sister in an institution. She's there because she's considered severely mentally retarded. Then she described her sister to me. I've never heard a more exact description of classic autism.

3. People do not understand that once a person is in an institution with a label, you might have to ask to have your loved one screened for something else if you suspect something else- they won't "just do that" or "watch for it" automatically. (If you are in the hospital with a diagnosis, and you suspect another diagnosis or problem, it is a good idea to ask the doctor about checking it out).

4. If you are the only sober person playing pool, you are probably going to win the most games. Even if you suck at pool and haven't played in years.

5. No matter what, people will complain that they aren't being paid enough and want more money. Even for a job you can work in your pajamas. And that pays you a good bit of money by the hour to work in your pajamas.

6. In Heidi by Johanna Spyri, Heidi has black hair.

7. Sam Adams costs five bucks on the train. It doubles the cost of lunch.

8. If you work a great job where all you have to do is read and keep track of others reading, and they pay you good money to do it, people will still do the stupidest crap to get fired. Such as to announce to an entire group of people doing the job, including your supervisors, that reading isn't really necessary.

9. I am not in the rumor loop. Everybody seems to know everything about everybody, and who got fired and why, and all that kind of lovely stuff, and I find out about it when I go to New Jersey. (I am not yet decided if this is a good thing or a bad thing.)

10. When you are not in the rumor loop, and you ask after the whereabouts of someone who has been fired for months, people laugh at you.

11. When you are staying at a hotel that is too cheap to keep drinks available until the end of your meeting, you don't feel as bad about keeping the pens and pads they leave in the conference rooms.

12. There is nothing better after 30 hours of boy-less-ness than being able to come home, give them a kiss, and hear the little voice say, "Mommy! You're back!"