1. Don't bother wrapping Joey's presents. The unwrapping process exhausts him, and the overload of excitement means it will take all day to unwrap his presents.
2. Once Joey has the toy he wants, he's done. The rest of the presents can sit there until next Christmas.
3. Boys. Trains. Life is good.
4. Andy, a ball, Joey sitting on the ball, and a pair of loppers left on the porch is not going to turn out well. (No one got hurt, but Joey was heartbroken about the ball.)
5. You can explain socially significant things to Andy using words.
6. Lightsticks make great nightlights.
7. Children really will fall asleep during a story if the story is long enough. And is about girls, and they are boys.
8. In the time it takes me to put Andy's coat on him, Joey can be out the office door, out the building, to the van, and buckling himself into his seat.
9. If you need a toy to distract a child, go for the dancing, singing turkey. Seriously.
10. Even if the tinsel is only on the tree at someone else's house, not yours, and you go to visit that someone, tinsel appears at your house.
11. Tinsel does indeed go undigested through the digestive system of a cat.
You can take a little tour of my Christmas decorations here.