Joey hasn't been taking naps for a few months now, but he has fallen asleep today. This is a good thing; he's been exhausted. All this potty training is so stressful, the heat has been unbearable, and we've been trying to redirect him from his latest stimming- putting objects to his face, then dropping them.
You'd think I'd be getting off my butt and getting something done with both boys asleep; but one is upstairs, one is downstairs, and I don't want to wake either of them. Although, which thing should be done first? Everything piles up so fast, its hard to decide what to get done, if in fact anythng can get done. I compromised by cleaning in the kitchen, and entering the blog entry. Now I'm going to get off my butt and clean a bathroom before the peace is done.
Too late.
Friday, August 04, 2006
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
CNN
CNN is doing another series on autism:
http://www.cnn.com/2006/HEALTH/07/28/autism.overview/index.html
http://www.cnn.com/2006/HEALTH/07/28/autism.overview/index.html
A Trip to Tennessee
This is probably going to be just "part one"- it's late. But we went to Tennessee. We decided to drive- neither Allan nor I could imagine Joey in an airplane- and that was BEFORE he threw up while we were driving over the mountains. Nope. No planes for now.
However, car sickness is a normal problem for small kids. It was a trip that reminded us just how disabled Joey is. I hate trips like that. I far prefer the ones where I never even think about it, where its weeks later and I think "wow, he did really well that day" or when I am telling someone else what we did, all I remember is how much fun he had. Not that it was a bad trip; he enjoyed the dogs at Granny's and the slumber parties in the hotel rooms and all, but there were those little prickles of "this isn't right" and "normal kids don't do this."
The stopped at the Nashville zoo. Andy LOVED it. Its really a lovely zoo, I recommend it. Its shady and comfortable and they are doing a fabulous job. But Joey's main concern was riding in the rented stroller. He didn't want to look at the elephants or anything. I guess I could say he liked the meerkats, and the alligators, but anything that was any distance from the fence, forget it. Andy was straining over the fences to watch; Joey was wondering why the stroller wasn't moving, and how he could get it to move.
Then there was the dinner meltdown. Our second dinner at Granny's was late- significantly late, like 8 pm instead 6pm late. Any kid would have been grumpy. Andy was grumpy. But Joey just lost it completely. He was too hungry to eat. The dogs were all over him. Allan's sister was clearly annoyed with us. What my mother-in-law and father-in-law thought I have not the foggiest, I was afraid to even look, and I think they were trying to be tactfully silent. It was disaster.
While I'm at this point, I really wish I was better at describing Joey's meltdowns. When I tell these kinds of stories to my friends and relations, I often get told that most kids "meltdown" and would in a similar situation. I understand that concept, but clearly I am not communicating how Joey's meltdown is so different compared to what I see other kids do. When other kids meltdown, it is unpleasant, probably annoying to people who have never had children or are long done with them, and grates the parents' nerves. When my child melts down, the earth stops spinning and explodes. Partly this is because of my perspective- Joey is MY child, and having him freak out is very heart-wrenching for me. However, it really does seem to be far more violent than anything I have seen "normal" kids do anywhere, and its a different sort of unrelenting screaming, kicking, frustration to the core. When Andy melts down, no one is in immediate danger of losing one's mind or severe injury, he never purposely gets into my face and empties his lungs (and there is no doubt of the strength of Andy's lungs), the vibes of frustration are superficial and in the moment. When Joey melts down, his whole person seems to explode. Does that make any sense?
However, car sickness is a normal problem for small kids. It was a trip that reminded us just how disabled Joey is. I hate trips like that. I far prefer the ones where I never even think about it, where its weeks later and I think "wow, he did really well that day" or when I am telling someone else what we did, all I remember is how much fun he had. Not that it was a bad trip; he enjoyed the dogs at Granny's and the slumber parties in the hotel rooms and all, but there were those little prickles of "this isn't right" and "normal kids don't do this."
The stopped at the Nashville zoo. Andy LOVED it. Its really a lovely zoo, I recommend it. Its shady and comfortable and they are doing a fabulous job. But Joey's main concern was riding in the rented stroller. He didn't want to look at the elephants or anything. I guess I could say he liked the meerkats, and the alligators, but anything that was any distance from the fence, forget it. Andy was straining over the fences to watch; Joey was wondering why the stroller wasn't moving, and how he could get it to move.
Then there was the dinner meltdown. Our second dinner at Granny's was late- significantly late, like 8 pm instead 6pm late. Any kid would have been grumpy. Andy was grumpy. But Joey just lost it completely. He was too hungry to eat. The dogs were all over him. Allan's sister was clearly annoyed with us. What my mother-in-law and father-in-law thought I have not the foggiest, I was afraid to even look, and I think they were trying to be tactfully silent. It was disaster.
While I'm at this point, I really wish I was better at describing Joey's meltdowns. When I tell these kinds of stories to my friends and relations, I often get told that most kids "meltdown" and would in a similar situation. I understand that concept, but clearly I am not communicating how Joey's meltdown is so different compared to what I see other kids do. When other kids meltdown, it is unpleasant, probably annoying to people who have never had children or are long done with them, and grates the parents' nerves. When my child melts down, the earth stops spinning and explodes. Partly this is because of my perspective- Joey is MY child, and having him freak out is very heart-wrenching for me. However, it really does seem to be far more violent than anything I have seen "normal" kids do anywhere, and its a different sort of unrelenting screaming, kicking, frustration to the core. When Andy melts down, no one is in immediate danger of losing one's mind or severe injury, he never purposely gets into my face and empties his lungs (and there is no doubt of the strength of Andy's lungs), the vibes of frustration are superficial and in the moment. When Joey melts down, his whole person seems to explode. Does that make any sense?
Monday, July 24, 2006
Meltdown
So we had a whiz-bang yesterday. Joey has found a new stimming behavior- he presses all the cars he can hold to his face, then lets them drop. We think it started with Cookie Monster, devouring cookies and letting the crumbs drop everywhere. It's turned into something of a problem.
Telling him to stop is also a problem. One of the sure signs that the behavior is not appropriate: try to stop it, and complete meltdown ensues.
All in all, we're pretty lucky with Joey. He doesn't tantrum much; in fact, he's usually an easy-going little guy. When he does melt down, it's complete pandemonium. He screams with teh frustration and aggravation. He tosses himself on furniture or the floor. He throws things in all directions. If you try to restrain him, he beats on you. The entire day is shot with your nerves. Ever had someone get less than an inch from your face and just unleash their lungs?
Sometimes I forget that Joey is autistic, or disabled. Perhaps I want to forget. Perhaps he's just such a sweet little thing, and I'm just so used to him being who he is, it just doesn;t even cross my mind. Then there are the meltdowns. It becomes so mind-bendingly obvious that its not right. I've seen normal kids have tantrums. They are nothing compared to Joey, and are over before Joey even gets going. Even Andy stomps his feet and cries when he can't have another potato chip or has to go to bed- nothing compared to a Joey Meltdown.
There has to be something we can do to help him, to give him some tools to be able to calm himself down; but I have no idea what to do for him. We hug him mightily when it is all over, but what else can be done? We can't let him drown in these repetative, unappropriate actions. He drifts away into them, and we can't afford drifting. Its not like a normal kid, who vegs to process and rest. Joey just disappears. We lose simple skills. He talks less. He does less. He just drifts away.
Telling him to stop is also a problem. One of the sure signs that the behavior is not appropriate: try to stop it, and complete meltdown ensues.
All in all, we're pretty lucky with Joey. He doesn't tantrum much; in fact, he's usually an easy-going little guy. When he does melt down, it's complete pandemonium. He screams with teh frustration and aggravation. He tosses himself on furniture or the floor. He throws things in all directions. If you try to restrain him, he beats on you. The entire day is shot with your nerves. Ever had someone get less than an inch from your face and just unleash their lungs?
Sometimes I forget that Joey is autistic, or disabled. Perhaps I want to forget. Perhaps he's just such a sweet little thing, and I'm just so used to him being who he is, it just doesn;t even cross my mind. Then there are the meltdowns. It becomes so mind-bendingly obvious that its not right. I've seen normal kids have tantrums. They are nothing compared to Joey, and are over before Joey even gets going. Even Andy stomps his feet and cries when he can't have another potato chip or has to go to bed- nothing compared to a Joey Meltdown.
There has to be something we can do to help him, to give him some tools to be able to calm himself down; but I have no idea what to do for him. We hug him mightily when it is all over, but what else can be done? We can't let him drown in these repetative, unappropriate actions. He drifts away into them, and we can't afford drifting. Its not like a normal kid, who vegs to process and rest. Joey just disappears. We lose simple skills. He talks less. He does less. He just drifts away.
Saturday, July 22, 2006
Another day...
We ran out to Wakefield again this morning. Its a nice thing to do with two little guys when you're on your own. They have some room to run without Mom having to freak about the boys getting lost, snatched, or into serious trouble. They get to see sheep and pigs and cows and horses. I get to sit on a bench for five minutes.
The big discovery for today was walnuts. Wakefield has these huge, lovely walnut trees, and they drop walnuts. To a two-year-old and a four-year-old, large green walnuts look like india-rubber balls. They are apparently great for rolling, knocking together, putting on your head, putting on Mom's head, and tossing high into the air and seeing who can avoid it landing on their head. Wonderful things. Who needs toys? Just get yourself a nnice, shady walnut tree, and you're all set.
Joey has been doing some real conversing lately, and we're thrilled. He tells me he's hungry. "I'm hungry. I want goldfish." He asks what we're doing when we leave him at bedtime ("Daddy, what ya doin'?"). We actually have some back-and-forth conversations! ("I'm hungry." "What do you want to eat?" "I want goldfish!" "Would you like to have goldfish or mac-and-cheese?" "Mac and Cheese, please!"). It makes me cry just thinking about it!
We're having some bedtime blues. Joey insists on someone being there until he's asleep, but he wants to play in his window first. I don't mind. I'm usually not in a hurry at bedtime. However, I'm not always the one putting him to bed. We're not sure how to wean him off of us as a comfort object. We can't just close the door and keep him in his room like we used to when he'd have these spells.
Last night, we must have had the TV too loud- we were watching Miss Marple, and it wasn't nearly time for Joey to creep into the room- and yet there he was. Poor thing! He was so tired, and just wanted to lay in bed with us. We finally got him back to his own bed.
But the biggest news around here is Andy pee-ed on the potty! For those of you who are not entranced by the joys of potty training, you have no idea what a big deal this is- he's not even 2 1/2 yet! He may beat Joey out of diapers! Wouldn't that be weird...
The big discovery for today was walnuts. Wakefield has these huge, lovely walnut trees, and they drop walnuts. To a two-year-old and a four-year-old, large green walnuts look like india-rubber balls. They are apparently great for rolling, knocking together, putting on your head, putting on Mom's head, and tossing high into the air and seeing who can avoid it landing on their head. Wonderful things. Who needs toys? Just get yourself a nnice, shady walnut tree, and you're all set.
Joey has been doing some real conversing lately, and we're thrilled. He tells me he's hungry. "I'm hungry. I want goldfish." He asks what we're doing when we leave him at bedtime ("Daddy, what ya doin'?"). We actually have some back-and-forth conversations! ("I'm hungry." "What do you want to eat?" "I want goldfish!" "Would you like to have goldfish or mac-and-cheese?" "Mac and Cheese, please!"). It makes me cry just thinking about it!
We're having some bedtime blues. Joey insists on someone being there until he's asleep, but he wants to play in his window first. I don't mind. I'm usually not in a hurry at bedtime. However, I'm not always the one putting him to bed. We're not sure how to wean him off of us as a comfort object. We can't just close the door and keep him in his room like we used to when he'd have these spells.
Last night, we must have had the TV too loud- we were watching Miss Marple, and it wasn't nearly time for Joey to creep into the room- and yet there he was. Poor thing! He was so tired, and just wanted to lay in bed with us. We finally got him back to his own bed.
But the biggest news around here is Andy pee-ed on the potty! For those of you who are not entranced by the joys of potty training, you have no idea what a big deal this is- he's not even 2 1/2 yet! He may beat Joey out of diapers! Wouldn't that be weird...
Thursday, July 20, 2006
Wee Time
We spent the morning at Wee Time, a program for local toddlers a the rec center. I think it was originally intended to give moms a break, but its mostly a chance for kids to play with different toys and maybe even each other. The boys love it. Joey discovered teh sit and spin today. Perhaps not the best toy on the planet for him, but he was having fun. Then he was running around with a little airplane reciting "In the Night Kitchen." Very cute, and any talking I can get from him is a good thing.
Its a little odd to watch him, though. The other kids are running around, shouting, playing with each other, trying to get the best toys; Joey is in his own little world. Andy likes to try to play with the older kids, which annoys them. Joey plays by himself. He tried to play with one little girl today, but she didn't want to play; that was a bit of a shame. I would like to see his efforts at socializing rewarded.
Now off to speech therapy...
Its a little odd to watch him, though. The other kids are running around, shouting, playing with each other, trying to get the best toys; Joey is in his own little world. Andy likes to try to play with the older kids, which annoys them. Joey plays by himself. He tried to play with one little girl today, but she didn't want to play; that was a bit of a shame. I would like to see his efforts at socializing rewarded.
Now off to speech therapy...
Sunday, July 16, 2006
New Bus
I have to say, the new speech therapist seems to be making a lot of headway. Joey has been asking for things, asking questions, and answering his yes/no questions very well. Then there was yesterday.
I got Joey a copy of Sylvester: the Mouse with a Musical Ear. It was one of my favorites at his age, so I thought I'd give it a try- and he LOVES it. In fact, he loves it so much, I thought I'd take him downtown to the music store, so he could get an idea of where Sylvester lives. It was a huge success. He pointed out guitars, drums, violins, and even ukeleles; and I showed him a cello, which he thought was really cool. The folks at Picker's Supply were very nice about us being there, since it soon became obvious we weren't there to buy anything. Joey talked about Sylvester and everything. Happiness itself!
Then we went to the toy store, just to see if they had anything interesting... and they had a bigger version of Bus. Joey was instantly in love. So we bought him Big Bus, and headed home.
He was sitting in the back seat, and we were halfway home, when suddenly he says, "My name is Joey!"
"Yes, it is. Good job!" I replied. It was so nice and clear!
"Thank you, Mama!" he said.
"You're welcome!" I chimed back, now excited. Was I having a conversation with my son? I decided to test it.
"What do you have?"
"I have a bus," Joey piped right back. "Thank you, Mama!"
"I'm glad you like it!" I answered, now absolutely thrilled.
I had a conversation with my son!!!
We bought New Bus just in time. When we got home, Joey was playing with both Buses, and Old Bus broke! I fixed it, but then he gave it to Andy ("Here Andy, try this!"), and Andy broke it again this morning. I'm going to fix it and save it for the Christmas tree. It has been a faithful friend for my son.
I got Joey a copy of Sylvester: the Mouse with a Musical Ear. It was one of my favorites at his age, so I thought I'd give it a try- and he LOVES it. In fact, he loves it so much, I thought I'd take him downtown to the music store, so he could get an idea of where Sylvester lives. It was a huge success. He pointed out guitars, drums, violins, and even ukeleles; and I showed him a cello, which he thought was really cool. The folks at Picker's Supply were very nice about us being there, since it soon became obvious we weren't there to buy anything. Joey talked about Sylvester and everything. Happiness itself!
Then we went to the toy store, just to see if they had anything interesting... and they had a bigger version of Bus. Joey was instantly in love. So we bought him Big Bus, and headed home.
He was sitting in the back seat, and we were halfway home, when suddenly he says, "My name is Joey!"
"Yes, it is. Good job!" I replied. It was so nice and clear!
"Thank you, Mama!" he said.
"You're welcome!" I chimed back, now excited. Was I having a conversation with my son? I decided to test it.
"What do you have?"
"I have a bus," Joey piped right back. "Thank you, Mama!"
"I'm glad you like it!" I answered, now absolutely thrilled.
I had a conversation with my son!!!
We bought New Bus just in time. When we got home, Joey was playing with both Buses, and Old Bus broke! I fixed it, but then he gave it to Andy ("Here Andy, try this!"), and Andy broke it again this morning. I'm going to fix it and save it for the Christmas tree. It has been a faithful friend for my son.
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Pirates
MacDonalds is doing a Pirates of the Caribbean promotion, and in Happy meals, they are giving out pirate toys. One of them is a headrag. My sons discovered them this evening.
Joey always lvoes funny hats. Its his thing. He has a big turkey for the fall, a flamingo, a Christmas tree, and a crab. He was all about the pirate scarf. So we put them on their heads, and Allan starts shouting things like "Shiver me timbers! Arrrrrg!" and "Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum! Arrrrrg!" and "Ahoy, mateys, lest ye walk the plank! Arrrg!" Combine this with my sons' new interest in Peter Pan, and you can imagine the rollicking fun to be had playing pirates at my house. Andy would squeal with delight every time Allan said "Arrrrg!" By the end of the evening, I had three pirates Arrrrg-ing (can Arrg be a verb?) at each other, squealing, and running all over the place.
Both boys are now asleep. They still have their pirate hats on. We had to take them off to change into PJs, but they had to be put back on for there to be peace on earth. We didn't even try to fight it. They won't be little for long.
Joey always lvoes funny hats. Its his thing. He has a big turkey for the fall, a flamingo, a Christmas tree, and a crab. He was all about the pirate scarf. So we put them on their heads, and Allan starts shouting things like "Shiver me timbers! Arrrrrg!" and "Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum! Arrrrrg!" and "Ahoy, mateys, lest ye walk the plank! Arrrg!" Combine this with my sons' new interest in Peter Pan, and you can imagine the rollicking fun to be had playing pirates at my house. Andy would squeal with delight every time Allan said "Arrrrg!" By the end of the evening, I had three pirates Arrrrg-ing (can Arrg be a verb?) at each other, squealing, and running all over the place.
Both boys are now asleep. They still have their pirate hats on. We had to take them off to change into PJs, but they had to be put back on for there to be peace on earth. We didn't even try to fight it. They won't be little for long.
Saturday, July 08, 2006
Mr. Guinea Pig
Tonight at dinner, Joey insisted that we call him "Mr. Guinea Pig" (that's Pinky Dinky Doo's pet guinea pig). He is SO CUTE. He puts his fingers up on each side of his head, and proclaims himself Mr. Guinea Pig. Then he pretends to be Mr. Guinea Pig for a while! How cool is THAT???
Friday, July 07, 2006
Animals animals animals!
So we took the boys to Maymont today. If you have never been, and you are hanging around Richmond, I recommend it thoroughly. Its worth the drive from here, that's for sure. They have a fabulous indoor, air conditioned nature center with live fish and animals, including otters! The boys were fascinated with the catfish. I think Joey could have spent the day staring at the fish and turtles (the Baltimore Aquarium trip we're planning ought to be a smash hit!). Then we took them over to the Children's Farm there- ou can feed the goats, and there are lots of other animals to see. Absolutely lovely!
The best part- that seems a weird way to put this, but anyway- was that when Joey did melt down, nobody looked at us like we were freaks, or bad parents, or anything. Everybody was SO nice, and SO sympathetic. I'm not just talking abotu people who worked there- the visitors, even older people who were talking a stroll, were all smiling and trying to be polite and nice. I was grateful. Joey was doing fine one minute, and not fine the next, and I've gotten used to the dirty looks we usually get- but they still are unpleasant. It was so much nicer to have folks understand we were working our way to the car, trying to calm him down, trying to keep the day from being a complete mess. thank you to all those people. ou made our lives SO much nicer!
The best part- that seems a weird way to put this, but anyway- was that when Joey did melt down, nobody looked at us like we were freaks, or bad parents, or anything. Everybody was SO nice, and SO sympathetic. I'm not just talking abotu people who worked there- the visitors, even older people who were talking a stroll, were all smiling and trying to be polite and nice. I was grateful. Joey was doing fine one minute, and not fine the next, and I've gotten used to the dirty looks we usually get- but they still are unpleasant. It was so much nicer to have folks understand we were working our way to the car, trying to calm him down, trying to keep the day from being a complete mess. thank you to all those people. ou made our lives SO much nicer!
Monday, July 03, 2006
Favorite words
Like most four-year-olds, Joey has favorite words. He loves to walk aroudn saying these words, just to feel them in his mouth. I remember doing that as a kid. I really liked the words "squash" and "golden", and remember walking around one day saying "buttercup" just because it felt good. Maybe I'm weird, but I see other little kids doing this all the time, often to the annoyance of their parents. Joey does it, too.
Today's word is "tenacious." He has an idea of what it means, because he loves Pinky Dinky Doo, and "tenacious" is a word they highlight. He's very good at saying it, too. Joey still has a thick quality to his voice (that I can get no therapist to recognize or acknowledge, even when I point it out directly), but its pretty clear and understandable. So he's playing being Pinky Dinky Doo and Mr. Guinea Pig, tooting on a kazoo and joyfully exclaiming, "TENACIOUS!"
Today's word is "tenacious." He has an idea of what it means, because he loves Pinky Dinky Doo, and "tenacious" is a word they highlight. He's very good at saying it, too. Joey still has a thick quality to his voice (that I can get no therapist to recognize or acknowledge, even when I point it out directly), but its pretty clear and understandable. So he's playing being Pinky Dinky Doo and Mr. Guinea Pig, tooting on a kazoo and joyfully exclaiming, "TENACIOUS!"
Saturday, July 01, 2006
Once Upon A Time, Before Autism Came Into My Life
I have picked up a really odd habit. I read stories about other people finding out their children are autistic.
I'm sure my therapist would say I'm in search connection, understanding, empathy, whatever. That's not the point- is it?
Usually when I read them, I cry. I do that a lot. I've ot some friends who will be surprised; I have other friends who will be thinking "again? That's not news." But there is something about knowing someone else had the sudden, wrenching, horrible moment I had when the word "autism" first fell from someone's lips, and they were talking about MY son. MY baby. MY sweet little darling boy who loved to give me a kiss, loved to tickle his baby brother's toes, loved cottage cheese with lima beans, loved knocking over block towers, loved getting raspberries on his tummy. I cannot tell you what a strange, other-worldly experience that is. It takes a while for the shock to wave off, and to realize once again that nothing has really changed, you're getting the help your baby needs instead of gliding about in blissful ignorance. Joey is still Joey. He didn't change. I did.
The pain is actually useful for me. Its a reminder that there is work to be done. It can be very easy to slip back into teh habits of ignorance. Before we knew, we could easily "read" Joey, and know what he wanted. We could attribute strange behavior to eccentricity of childhood. But then there's that pain, that flash of agony that says "move your butt, or he won't have a chance at a normal life. Move your butt, and at least he'll have a shot at independence."
Joey is considered mildly autistic. I can't imagine what someone with a severely austistic child feels like, or how they cope with that kind of devastation. If my moving my butt is just to give Joey a _shot_ at normal living... and remember, he may not, even as mild as he is, ever live independently. If I stall and don't do what is needful, he won't even have a chance at it- if I do everything right, he still may not ever live an independent life. Every minute counts. It can be very hard to try to get other people to understand that- even people who are supposed to understand and be helping, like school folks, therapists, family. Every minute counts.
So i seem to seek out these "once upon a time" punches in the stomach. Or are they kicks in the tuckus?
I'm sure my therapist would say I'm in search connection, understanding, empathy, whatever. That's not the point- is it?
Usually when I read them, I cry. I do that a lot. I've ot some friends who will be surprised; I have other friends who will be thinking "again? That's not news." But there is something about knowing someone else had the sudden, wrenching, horrible moment I had when the word "autism" first fell from someone's lips, and they were talking about MY son. MY baby. MY sweet little darling boy who loved to give me a kiss, loved to tickle his baby brother's toes, loved cottage cheese with lima beans, loved knocking over block towers, loved getting raspberries on his tummy. I cannot tell you what a strange, other-worldly experience that is. It takes a while for the shock to wave off, and to realize once again that nothing has really changed, you're getting the help your baby needs instead of gliding about in blissful ignorance. Joey is still Joey. He didn't change. I did.
The pain is actually useful for me. Its a reminder that there is work to be done. It can be very easy to slip back into teh habits of ignorance. Before we knew, we could easily "read" Joey, and know what he wanted. We could attribute strange behavior to eccentricity of childhood. But then there's that pain, that flash of agony that says "move your butt, or he won't have a chance at a normal life. Move your butt, and at least he'll have a shot at independence."
Joey is considered mildly autistic. I can't imagine what someone with a severely austistic child feels like, or how they cope with that kind of devastation. If my moving my butt is just to give Joey a _shot_ at normal living... and remember, he may not, even as mild as he is, ever live independently. If I stall and don't do what is needful, he won't even have a chance at it- if I do everything right, he still may not ever live an independent life. Every minute counts. It can be very hard to try to get other people to understand that- even people who are supposed to understand and be helping, like school folks, therapists, family. Every minute counts.
So i seem to seek out these "once upon a time" punches in the stomach. Or are they kicks in the tuckus?
Friday, June 30, 2006
Going to sleep
Joey is starting to go to sleep before dark again. I still have to stay with him (he taps the bed and says "Momma sleep!" ) but at least he's going to sleep.
There's nothing more wonderful than snuggling a boy while singing "wheels on the bus" and having him sing the song himself- including our own verses (The Andys on the bus say "Hug My Brother!", the Joeys on the bus say "Whee whee whee!", His mommy says "I love you", his daddy says "I'm proud of you", and the monsters on the bus go "rumpus, rumpus, rumpus" [while tickling you]).
Joey is also starting to listen and enjoy longer stories. He has discovered a book I loved as a little child: _Sylvester: the Mouse with the Musical Ear._ He likes the description of the city, and finding the mouse in the pictures. He's also very into _In The Night Kitchen_, and Allan has been reading him _Babar_. My boy is starting to outgrow his baby books!
There's nothing more wonderful than snuggling a boy while singing "wheels on the bus" and having him sing the song himself- including our own verses (The Andys on the bus say "Hug My Brother!", the Joeys on the bus say "Whee whee whee!", His mommy says "I love you", his daddy says "I'm proud of you", and the monsters on the bus go "rumpus, rumpus, rumpus" [while tickling you]).
Joey is also starting to listen and enjoy longer stories. He has discovered a book I loved as a little child: _Sylvester: the Mouse with the Musical Ear._ He likes the description of the city, and finding the mouse in the pictures. He's also very into _In The Night Kitchen_, and Allan has been reading him _Babar_. My boy is starting to outgrow his baby books!
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Time
Allan and I came up with this, and are seeing if it starts making its way around the world as a chain email:
You need to be taking more time for yourself when:
Your hair repels water.
Your babysitter is shocked to hear from you, because she thought you moved.
Someone asks if you've read a good book lately, and you expound a postmodernist deconstruction of Pat the Bunny.
You consider anything other than Kraft Macaroni and Cheese to be gourmet cooking.
You have the "Sesame Street" theme stuck in your head, and the only song you can think of to get it out is the theme of "Blue's Clues."
You have to toss beer/wine from your fridge because it's too old to drink.
The last hit song you remember is "The Macarena."
Your idea of a fun night out is a trip to Walmart.
You think sleeping is a waste of time.
You need to be taking more time for yourself when:
Your hair repels water.
Your babysitter is shocked to hear from you, because she thought you moved.
Someone asks if you've read a good book lately, and you expound a postmodernist deconstruction of Pat the Bunny.
You consider anything other than Kraft Macaroni and Cheese to be gourmet cooking.
You have the "Sesame Street" theme stuck in your head, and the only song you can think of to get it out is the theme of "Blue's Clues."
You have to toss beer/wine from your fridge because it's too old to drink.
The last hit song you remember is "The Macarena."
Your idea of a fun night out is a trip to Walmart.
You think sleeping is a waste of time.
Monday, June 26, 2006
Focus
So today I started the "home program" I have for Joey- mostly workbooks of preschool skills he needs to start kindergarten. It wasn't a total disaster, but it was a little grating on the nerves. Basically, I show him the workpage, try to show him what he needs to do, and then use a DTT method of teaching him to communicate the skills he already has. He needs to be able to follow directions and complete worksheets to get through school.
I got him to teh table by enticing him with playdough. It was a good strategy- he wouldn't just come sit, especially when he saw there was going to be work involved, but teh playdough got him right to the table. Then we went through four activities. I thought we did really well. He only melted down twice in a major way, and just a few small frustration incidents. Not too bad. If I can get him doing this for me, he won't lose time when he gets back to school re-learning to focus.
I got him to teh table by enticing him with playdough. It was a good strategy- he wouldn't just come sit, especially when he saw there was going to be work involved, but teh playdough got him right to the table. Then we went through four activities. I thought we did really well. He only melted down twice in a major way, and just a few small frustration incidents. Not too bad. If I can get him doing this for me, he won't lose time when he gets back to school re-learning to focus.
Sentences
Sometimes its really odd to have Andy doign things Joey doesn't do.
Andy is starting to speak in sentences. His pronunciation may not be up to adult understanding, but as his parents, we can usually make out his words- and this week, they have been beautifully strung together: "I don't want that", "I like apples", "Time for bed!" Getting Joey to make a sentence is still a miracle, an occasion for massive cheering and high praise. Now Andy gets his! And having him talk about likes and dislikes is odd, too. The way we know what does dislikes is because of the fuss he makes. Andy tells us. Very strange- and wonderful!
I was in New Jersey this week for my job, and Allan had the guys. Joey uses the potty nicely for Dad... wish he would get on that potty for me! Or perhaps just with less fussing. Fuss fuss fuss! All that energy wasted!
They guys have been watching Disney movies this week, too. Movies Joey wouldn't even look at, Andy is enthralled. Now Joey is starting to get interested, too- I think he understands the conversations more, so they hold more interest. Right now, they are playing Robin Hood with the movie- lots of couch bouncing!
Andy is starting to speak in sentences. His pronunciation may not be up to adult understanding, but as his parents, we can usually make out his words- and this week, they have been beautifully strung together: "I don't want that", "I like apples", "Time for bed!" Getting Joey to make a sentence is still a miracle, an occasion for massive cheering and high praise. Now Andy gets his! And having him talk about likes and dislikes is odd, too. The way we know what does dislikes is because of the fuss he makes. Andy tells us. Very strange- and wonderful!
I was in New Jersey this week for my job, and Allan had the guys. Joey uses the potty nicely for Dad... wish he would get on that potty for me! Or perhaps just with less fussing. Fuss fuss fuss! All that energy wasted!
They guys have been watching Disney movies this week, too. Movies Joey wouldn't even look at, Andy is enthralled. Now Joey is starting to get interested, too- I think he understands the conversations more, so they hold more interest. Right now, they are playing Robin Hood with the movie- lots of couch bouncing!
Sunday, June 18, 2006
Super Joey
So Allan decided to play the Incredibles for Joey. Lots of the other kids at school are into superheroes (mostly Spiderman). Joey just LOVED it- superheroes, to the rescue! He spent the afternoon imitating the movie and being a superhero, jumping onto the furniture and stuff. Then he put on his own shoes... let me say that again, it is SO INCREDIBLE... THEN HE PUT ON HIS OWN SHOES. Yes, he did! All by himself, he put on his shoes, because they flash, and apparently that was a cool superpower. He played with his flashy shoes being a superhero! It was absolutely amazing!!!
Friday, June 16, 2006
Summer Begins
I never thought I would be one of those parents saying, "holy crap, it's SUMMER!!!" Yet here I am, and that's exactly the sentiment. What am I going to do with this child all summer?
I mean, I can do lots of the regular stuff- days at the pool (though how I am going to manage a 2-year-old and a 4-year-old at a public pool is beyond me), mornings at the playground, rainy days with the playdough. Then we'll have our other stuff- Tuesday and Thursday afternoons at speech therapy, Thursday morning at Wee Time. But I feel like other familiaes have the luxury of allowing their kids to languish during the steamy summer days; we can't do that. Joey is too desperately behind in language skills to let any precious bit of them go.
Sometimes I forget how far behind Joey really is, because I am busy rejoicing in what he is doing. The other night I was tucking him in bed and asked 'What song do you want? Do you want 'Wheels on the Bus'?" and was thrilled to hear the reply: "No. How about 'Michael Row the Boat Ashore'?" That's no script. That's not echo. That was a real response!!! And then I see other families in stores and playgrounds, having real conversations with their kids, and finding out the kid is only 3 years old... that's when I remember how much work we have to do, and how much work the poor child is doing just to try to get above the waterline.
So I am working on activities that encourage him to talk. I am hoping to get him interested in stories and creating stories, maybe even making small books. Somewhere I have some books with very simple narratives, I might pull them out for models. Get him thinking about story. He needs to be able to relate to what happened and what he has done during the day, and be able to talk about it. Dealing with conversations, not so sure what to do for that.
Ah, summer. At least he'll get to sleep in.
I mean, I can do lots of the regular stuff- days at the pool (though how I am going to manage a 2-year-old and a 4-year-old at a public pool is beyond me), mornings at the playground, rainy days with the playdough. Then we'll have our other stuff- Tuesday and Thursday afternoons at speech therapy, Thursday morning at Wee Time. But I feel like other familiaes have the luxury of allowing their kids to languish during the steamy summer days; we can't do that. Joey is too desperately behind in language skills to let any precious bit of them go.
Sometimes I forget how far behind Joey really is, because I am busy rejoicing in what he is doing. The other night I was tucking him in bed and asked 'What song do you want? Do you want 'Wheels on the Bus'?" and was thrilled to hear the reply: "No. How about 'Michael Row the Boat Ashore'?" That's no script. That's not echo. That was a real response!!! And then I see other families in stores and playgrounds, having real conversations with their kids, and finding out the kid is only 3 years old... that's when I remember how much work we have to do, and how much work the poor child is doing just to try to get above the waterline.
So I am working on activities that encourage him to talk. I am hoping to get him interested in stories and creating stories, maybe even making small books. Somewhere I have some books with very simple narratives, I might pull them out for models. Get him thinking about story. He needs to be able to relate to what happened and what he has done during the day, and be able to talk about it. Dealing with conversations, not so sure what to do for that.
Ah, summer. At least he'll get to sleep in.
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Two more days
Only two days left of school. I'm working on putting together some activities for Joey and Andy to do this summer. I'm just hoping they will do them, without too much clamor for Pinky Dinky Doo and Sesame Street. We make some thank-you cards for Joey's teachers and aides today, and he seemed ot like sticking down stickers. That should occupy him for a whole... five minutes. I wish he would color and stuff. :P Rainy days are going to be the worst. Sunny days can be spent outside, but rainy days... there are only so many times I can go to Walmart and play Shapes and Letters!
Monday, June 12, 2006
A Boy and his Bus
Joey hasn't been feeling perfecty perfect over the weekend. Probably a little allergy, but he spent a lot of time just laying around. I did manage to get him out Saturday, though. We went to Wakefield. Bus came with us.
If you've never been to Wakefield, its lovely and quiet. Its one of the few places I can let the guys run, and not worry overmuch- you can see where they are, and there's nobody around, so they can run and see the animals and squeal as much as they like. there's a nice little path circuit to walk, along the river, up to teh house, around teh animals pens, and back.
We were almost back to teh car when I noticed Bus was missing. I knew he had brought it, because he was trying to hold my hand and Bus at the same time while we were looking at the blue heron on the river. About that same moment, Joey noticed Bus was gone, too. The world immediately began ending. With a normal four-year-old, you could ask some questions and limit your search a little; with Joey, all he could say was "No BUS!!! Bus all GONE!!!"
We walked the entire circuit again. Usually once through it enough for them to nap well; twice was totally exhausting. Trying to get Joey to scan the ground or the fencing for Bus was impossible; he had decended into the world of "No BUS!" Andy had no idea what was going on, though he was happy to see the sheep again. We found the Bus! He had placed it carefully on a fence while looking at the sheep! So all was well, and everybody slept all the way home in the car.
but after that, Joey wasn't feeling good enough to do fun stuff. He spent a lot of time watching Pinky Dinky Doo...
If you've never been to Wakefield, its lovely and quiet. Its one of the few places I can let the guys run, and not worry overmuch- you can see where they are, and there's nobody around, so they can run and see the animals and squeal as much as they like. there's a nice little path circuit to walk, along the river, up to teh house, around teh animals pens, and back.
We were almost back to teh car when I noticed Bus was missing. I knew he had brought it, because he was trying to hold my hand and Bus at the same time while we were looking at the blue heron on the river. About that same moment, Joey noticed Bus was gone, too. The world immediately began ending. With a normal four-year-old, you could ask some questions and limit your search a little; with Joey, all he could say was "No BUS!!! Bus all GONE!!!"
We walked the entire circuit again. Usually once through it enough for them to nap well; twice was totally exhausting. Trying to get Joey to scan the ground or the fencing for Bus was impossible; he had decended into the world of "No BUS!" Andy had no idea what was going on, though he was happy to see the sheep again. We found the Bus! He had placed it carefully on a fence while looking at the sheep! So all was well, and everybody slept all the way home in the car.
but after that, Joey wasn't feeling good enough to do fun stuff. He spent a lot of time watching Pinky Dinky Doo...
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