I know, I suck.

Why haven't I been posting much?

I have Andy home now. No camp this week.
We just a new book out, and I have been running about trying to sell it and get copies into the hands of reviewers and such.
Pot Luck Magazine is finally ready to be laid out, and I now have it done, except I need to get the main file and the cover to integrate, and it won't.
I had to grade finals and report grades. Then I had to start formatting and tweaking my fall classes. And I have to have it done now, because we'll be at the beach next week.
We'll be at the beach next week, so I have get everything settled and ready to go, all hands on deck. Fortunately, we have extra hands this year, but it still takes a lot of prep to take the boys on a long trip.
We got some payments on our genealogy contract that had to be processed.
My brain is fried.

I am planning on consuming a good amount of beer next week. Or at least dreaming of consuming beer next week. The apartment doesn't have high-speed internet access, so there may be a few posts, but I'm not guaranteeing anything. I'll be on vacation, after all.

New Design: Choose Kindness

Our latest design! Woo-hoo! I am also adding some of the new products to my older sections.

Joey See, Joey Do

I now have a mortal enemy. And his name is Annoying Orange.

I refuse to link to any of the videos of this nasty, inappropriate critter. Take my word for it. The video character is very aptly named. Unfortunately, he is also very striking and memorable, and thus very striking and memorable to imitate, despite his behavior being, well, annoying. And insulting. And offensive. And ugly.

Some of Joey's friends are very into Annoying Orange. They, and many of their parents, think it is funny. They also apparently think it is OK material for their 7-to-10- year-olds to be watching. I am hoping for the best by assuming they use it to discuss why the orange is annoying and so why you want to avoid his behavior. But alas, the majority of children we know who watch this trash are echolalic and imitative. Children such as... Joey.

So the other day, while they were eating snacks in the cafeteria, Joey thought it would be funny to throw his lunchbag at his teacher's face, in a "remake of Annoying Orange." He and his buddy D thought it terribly funny, especially when she gasped- a sound Joey has been finding hilarious this week. Needless to say, the teacher was not pleased. And Joey realized quickly that he had done something that had made her not pleased. The spiral spun to disaster from there.

The good news is that people who needed a good look at what our life has been like for the past year got a spectacularly dramatic view of it, and can now better work on helping improve it.

The other good news is Annoying Orange is now officially banned from my house. In fact, we may be watching a lot of Little Bear, Franklin, and Peep for a while. I may try to sneak in a Mr. Rogers. You know, some positive behavior models. I don't get to choose who he imitates, but I can do my best to present him with all the good models I can lay hands on.

And personally, I like Quack the Duck much better. He at least says "please".

Up up and away!

There is absolutely, positively no doubt that I have two happy boys this summer. And I cannot tell you how wonderful it is to be able to type that sentence, and spread it to everyone who reads here, knowing how many of you can truly appreciate what that sentence really and truly means. Even knowing those of you who can only get a faint echo of what it means, you can get the vibe. May it help the tides of your own lives.

How awesome is it to sit in a restaurant, one that Joey picked out- voluntarily picked out, all by himself- and have to speak to him about talking too much? Right after school? Or have to scold him a little for playing too rough with his uncle Evan. Do you understand what it means that he is playing with another human being? At all? I have to be ready for Friday, because we are going to be baking up a storm... because when I asked Joey what he wants to do, he says, "Let's bake cake and cookies!" He wants to do something- he can vocalize it- he really gets excited about it!

Yes, we still have meltdowns. Yes, I had to pull him upstairs a couple of time in the last week or so to discuss the "I want to kill myself" assertions and how to deal with frustration. He still has no patience whatsoever. Ups means there will be downs. BUt I'll take the massive ups we're having. Yes, and twice on Sundays, with every down I've had.

Andy is loving himself some camp, too. He's decided he likes art better than scootering, though I think there are two main reasons for that outside of his love of art: his little ladyfriend, and being teased because his scooter isn't one of the shiny new kind. He decided he likes his scooter, but no so much the other boys who go scootering at camp. Art is more fun because the company is more fun. I know this, because we've had several talks about it. I was worried he wouldn't want his scooter after being teased about it, but he loves his scooter. He won it at the auction and painted it himself, after all. That's my boy.

So here's to summer. May yours be as gloriously wonderful as mine!

The Big Picture

I often think Joey's life is kind of like this- waiting for us to see the big picture.

At the Aquarium

We had our Big Summer Trip today: the Aquarium in Baltimore! This is always a big adventure, because it is a long drive, then a trip through dark, crowded places, then an exhausting drive home. In the past, Joey has had trouble dealing with the dark, with the crowds, with the fish, and with the whole overwhelming experience. But this year, we have the return of Happy Joey- so we decided to give it a try.

Joey was so excited to be going to the aquarium, he was up at 2 am, singing to me in bed. At 5 am, he was dressed and informing us (who were still in bed) that it was time to go to the aquarium. Yes, he was a little excited.

We left about 6, because we wanted to be there when it opened to mitigate the crowds. Also, we were technically going with Team Stimey, though I got to see Stimey for all of... ten minutes? And I think we had an opportunity to say about three sentences to each other. The Aquarium is an all-hand-on-deck proposition, and all hands were busy.

Both boys were very, very happy once we arrived. They were excited to see fish, they were excited to sharks, they were excited to see turtles. Happy happy boys. That is the way it should be. We took the usual route through the sharks, up through the different waterways to the rainforest and coral reef. We were hoping to make it through the Australia exhibit this time, but no dice, we wore out. At least Joey as very happy through the whole thing, and really took time to look at the fish, not just glance at the cases and cope with the dark and crowd.

We tried at first to stick together, but JoeyAndyDad and I split up at last so Joey could take some breaks and Andy could go ahead and look at stuff and not wait around. Team Stimey came in behind us and we all met up at the top of the Coral Reef. Andy liked to get Joey's attention by grabbing his head or neck, and physically pointing Joey's face where to look. It was effective.

It was wonderful to see Joey actually looking at the fish, not just glancing at them. He would actually watch each case for a while, talking about the fish and animals he saw, noting that fish need to live in water (and couldn't come to his pond...) He was especially entranced by the octopus (no photography allowed of the octopus, but he was AWESOME) and the divers feeding the fish in the coral reef. He also liked to point out turtles everywhere. He was so interested, I am going to fish out some of the book I have bought him about fish and reefs and see if he will look at them.

Andy liked the rainforest and the exhibits about the Amazon basin. There were alligators, rays, and lots of frogs. Even he wore out at last, though he wouldn't admit it- he wanted to go see the jellyfish and hang out more with Team Stimey (Andy loves him some Sam!)

Andy was especially fond of the rainforest itself. HE saw it three times- once with Dad, once showing Joey to get him caught up, and one more time with Team Stimey, to get them caught up. He's fond of these open aviary type exhibits, seeing the birds fly and everything with no cage separating him from them. He also got to see a sloth and several nice tortoises. Joey was more interested in the parrots.

Andy even got to feed some of the birds- one of the staff gave him some mealworms to put out, and the birds came right up to get them. He was as happy to be able to actually touch mealworms as he was to have the birds come eat them. He saw the Wild Kratts feeding mealworms to aardvarks and was really interested in them, so getting to hold real ones was awesome.

The boys liked the frog exhibits, too. For some reason, Andy was calling the yellow tree frogs "ninja frogs", but apparently this added to the charm. Andy also wanted to show Team Stimey the frogs, but mostly ended up fascinated by Sam by the time we got back to them.

Though I didn't get to see them as much as I would have liked, Team Stimey was awesome as ever. We had lunch at the (very expensive) cafe before attempting the coral reef. It was a nice place, because you could see the whole harbor, and watch the dragon-shaped paddle boats skimming about. Apparently there was also a "ghost boat" in the water, but I didn't see it.

Finally, it was time to hit the reef. It was feeding time, so there was a diver there talking about caring for the reef and the fish. As I was leading Joey around to see him, a wail went up- alarm! alert! Danger, Mom Robinson!

The problem was that Joey had dropped his totem green sparkly pencil into the water, and couldn't reach it. This was a calamity on several levels- Joey's totems keep him calm, so we really needed the pencil; and we were afraid the fish might try to eat it (or at least the eraser) and get hurt. Andy dashed over to the diver for help; and he kindly thanked us for letting them know so they could get it out of the water, and he sent one of the divers ho was feeding fish to retrieve it for us.

We got to see the diver swim over and rescue the pencil, very exciting. She handed it to Joey, who was ecstatic and thanked her enthusiastically. He then was very excited to see her feeding fish a few minutes later as we descended into the reef.

And while the boys were bouncing about, excited about the diver and the fish and the pencil and everything, Andy lost a flipflop. Yep, it fell right between the grate and the glass of the tank, and landed just about the lighted shark silhouettes- and out of reach. I got a staff member, who kindly went to get someone with a pole. He came back to stand with me while I waited, and apologize for the wait (I must have looked as tired and exasperated as I felt), and tried to make me feel better.

"Oh, don't worry, M'am; a few minutes ago, someone's kid dropped a pencil in the tank and they had to send a diver over..."

I had to tell him that was us. I think he got his laugh for the day.

In the end, the flipflop was retrieved, we went to see the dolphins, and all was well with the world. We were worn out, so we hit the gift shop and headed home. But hey, never a dull moment.

Boys in the Summertime

Boys in the aviary at the Richmond Zoo.


Boys and tigers at the Richmond Zoo.


Feeding the giraffes.


Joey discovers the budgies.


Andy thinks budgies rock, too.


Discovering our inner Storm Trooper.


Joey loves riding animals.


Andy decides horses are OK.


A dream for Joey: meeting Obi-Wan Kenobi.


Andy's dream come true: meeting Captain Rex!


Joey still loves barrel rides.


Andy on the slides.


Sparklers!


The boys really liked holding them, and no one got burned!


Andy discovers a snakeskin on our nature walk.


Joey even liked the nature walk. This was unusual; he's usually not a fan of walking around at Grandma's and just looking at stuff. He especially liked toadstools.


Andy finally dives off the board at the pool.


Checking out tractors at the Caroline County Fair.


The boys liked the tractors, and being allowed to climb on them.


Playing in the corn: a sensory paradise.


Joey and Andy decided riding together was awesome.


They even hopped in the same bumper car, because it's far more fun with two!

Life is good. Happy summer!

The Difference Expertise Makes

Our ESY started on Monday.

ESY is "Extended School Year." These are the services Joey receives during the summer from the school system because having an 11-week break in services turned out to be a bad idea, even in the eyes of the school. When we first got ESY, it was one of the Holy Grails of Special Education here. The school personnel fought us with everything they could, and I am still convinced that preschool ESY is a Holy Grail in this system. Which is, of course, stupid. Many special needs kids require year-round schooling to retain skills. I think it would be a good idea for non-disabled kids to have year-round school to retain skills. But that's another post.

Last year, the summer was a disaster of epic proportions, leading to a school year disaster of epic proportions. Joey was anxious, depressed, wild, angry, and a general mess all year. The school personnel were not properly trained to deal with his needs, or understand his disabilities. The result was a lot of bolting, acting out, and general display of Unhappy Grumpy Anxious Depressed Joey.

Then came Monday.

We jumped up and down and stomped our feet and screamed and fussed in our way, and the school decided to put Ms. H and Ms. Macy in charge of Joey's ESY this year, and Ms. H will be managing Joey's school program come fall. Ms. H and Ms. Macy know Joey, they are well acquainted with autism and the needs of autistic students, and they are both talented educators. Does it make a difference? Oh, hell yes.

Yes, we started the first day with a bolt. We had prepped Joey for the return of his beloved Ms. H and Ms. Macy, and he was so eager to get to school- something I had not seen in a year- that he bolted down the street to get there when the bus was a little late. This morning, I made him wait at the door. He stared out of it, saying, "Bus! I am waiting for the bus. Where is the bus?" until it arrived, right on time.

And when he had gotten off the bus the last two days, I saw someone I haven't seen in a year: Happy Joey. Complete with words to tell me about his day, and who was in his class, and that they played games, and he saw "the twins and Jack-Jack" and wanted to go visit them this afternoon ("Let's go see Aunt Christina and the Twins and Jack-Jack, Mommy! After the pool!"). Happy boy telling me where he wanted to eat lunch and tidbits about his morning (he's still not good at self-narrative, but he's trying!) and missing Andy and wanting to get a shovel at the dollar store and we were going to the pool after lunch and... babble babble babble, happy babble of a happy boy.

That, my friends, is the difference a little expertise and understanding makes.

Considering experiments

When Joey was very little, we tried out a gluten-free, casein-free diet. We ended up with a very hungry child, especially since his diet wasn't terribly varied to begin with.

Now that he is older, and we are experiencing an increase in behavior issues, I am considering a cut in the gluten again. The thing about cutting gluten is that if I do it right, it can't hurt him; and if he's sensitive, we should see a difference in behavior or mood, or even weight, which would be a signal to us to go more drastic. It isn't like Joey needs to be eating a ton of pasta and bread, anyway.

Our doctor, clever person that she is, made a pretty big deal about wanting the boys to eat lots of fresh foods, especially vegetables, at their last appointment. We are, of course, going to cheat and remind Joey that the doctor's orders are to eat more fresh veggies. He's been very rule-oriented lately, so this may support the effort.

In the meantime, I think I am going to be at the farmer's market more often, because fresh veggies don't keep too well, especially in summer heat. Next week is Andy's "Mythbusters Camp" so a new diet experiment should fit right in!

A Visit In The Morning

My bestest girl friend and old college roommate is in town, and I am so excited I am going to get to see her in the morning, I could just go SQUEEE!!!

And I am so nervous that I can't sleep.

I haven't seen Sue in a few years. Her son is about six months younger than Andy, and she has a daughter who is a preschooler. The last time I saw her son, he was just walking. I have never seen the daughter at all.

Sue's best quality is she tells it as she sees it. She doesn't allow for excuses in facing problems. She's not afraid to tell you when she sees a problem. She's not shy about helping you fix it. If you need to brainstorm ways of coping with an issue, she's the one to call. She's awesome.

On the other hand, with our family, what one sees is all too often the tip of a mysterious iceberg. A day with Joey might look like one thing, and be something completely different. The usual ideas and fixes, or the ones that may look like they work or might be helpful, often are nothing of the sort. The strategies that work with a lot of kids only escalate the anxiety for Joey. And there is no getting around it: tomorrow is going to be a hard day for Joey. It won't be his schedule. We don't know what we are going to do when we get to Northern VA to see Sue and her kids. I suggested the Reston zoo, but apparently she took her kids to the National Zoo today, so they may be zoo-ed out. (Zoos tend to be good to take my kids, because there is flexibility but familiarity- they know what a zoo is and what to expect at one, so if I have one little guy out of sorts, the other is still entertained).

I think a great deal of this woman. She is a powerful, dynamic person of dignity, character, and high respect. What she will think of me and my guys when she finds my back-up parenting plan is to bring iTouches loaded with Angry Birds and am not afraid to use them to get us through lunch? That my way of letting Joey get comfortable is to let him be Quack or Buzz Lightyear, and play along? When she finds my best trick for getting Joey's behavior under control if he starts to melt down is to hug him instead of just putting him in time out or whatever other method people use these days? We have differed and butted heads about differences in opinion in such kinds of matters before.

So many people react to Joey in so many different ways, and to how we handle Joey. Sue has not really seen Joey or had to deal with his autism before. Though I have faith that Sue, being Sue, will not love us the less or turn away from us, I simply don't know how this will play out. It is likely to be a long day for Joey, so I have lots of extra prep to do in a few hours to mitigate and support him through it. And though I know few people really understand the energy and work that goes into such a day for us, I at least hope she'll understand, no matter what happens, that I am doing my best for my guys.

And I wouldn't miss it for the world.

Unstructured Ups and Downs

I have done my best this summer to keep to a very strict schedule:

Activity-lunch-pool.

In the past, Joey was a fairly flexible little guy. As a baby, he was happy a clam until he got really hungry, and since I was pretty regular with the food, he was all good, no matter what was going on.

Then he got a little bigger, and he needed to know what was coming. So we would talk about what would be happening that day, but we could be fairly vague. "Going on an adventure" was fine, he knew something fun was coming and it didn't much matter what. As long as the food came on time- not just "eventually"- he was all good.

Then he shifted to his obsession with clocks. However, as long as he knew where he was going, who would be there, and when to go, he was good. And life rolled merrily on for school. Not so much at home.

Here, life is more fluid. That is OK when you're only awake and home for, say, four hours; but when that fluidity becomes an all-day venture, it overwhelms Joey. His anxiety from his wild school year hasn't ebbed one scunce. So to help him out, I have a very strict schedule.

Activity- lunch-pool.

Deviations result in increased anxiety, for better or for worse. Today we had a movie party with one his old classmates, and he was a bundle of nerves all day. He hs a birthday party to attend on Saturday, but kept insisting it was today. Nothing we said or did would change his view: the party was today, and it was today, and today was the party, and there is a party at D's today, and he was going to miss the party... and from there, the world started ending. Only we had discussed in detail what today would be, since rain was in the air: relax with Peep and Angry Birds, lunch with Grandma, movie party.

But it wasn't activity-lunch-pool. So all was doomed.

He was happy at lunch. He was happy with his friend here. But all the minutes around those events? That poor child worried himself into a frenzy.

On top of that, Andy is having a hard time.

We have a lot of trouble getting Andy to eat. He is very picky with his food (though we are definitely back to "picky" and not in the realm of "food aversive/neophobe" anymore, hallelujah), he has a slow-emptying stomach (so he gets full fast), and on top of that, we're having a growth spurt. That child has no reserves left. If he fail to eat, if I don't push the water and the snacks, he get terribly thin and get headaches fast. He's already sound-sensitive, so you can imagine what a headache does for that child. Screaming ball of flesh. Without much flesh.

I am in a Catch-22 world of food here. Andy needs every calorie I can pack onto him and into him. Joey, with his movement and stamina issues on top of inheriting my gloriously bad metabolism, needs fewer calories than most kids his age, and is already having weight issues. We're working on creative ways to sneak Andy food, but it isn't easy. If Andy has food, Joey wants it to. Trying to explain to them both why Andy needs food and Joey doesn't hasn't really helped. I'm sure I'll get plenty of suggestions, but trust me, we've been through most ideas and failed miserably with them all. Andy is sensitive about being "skinny" and Joey is sensitive about being "fat," That's quite enough to create a roller-coaster ride without anything else going on.

You know, I love being able to squish and snuggle those boys all day long, but I'll be glad next week went both are at summer programs, with predictability and schedule and everything that makes them more comfortable. And I can sneak a milkshake to Andy in the mornings.

Happy Fourth!

Giraffes CAN Dance!

Joey just finished his week of Stage Door Stars, and it was Totally. Awesome.

This is a program to help kids with communication disorders and disabilities get together and have intensive therapy for a week, under the guise of putting on a play. They have a speech therapist, occupational therapists, theater teachers, special ed teachers, art teachers... and every kid gets a "coach" assigned to them for the week.

Joey loved loved loved it. He was bit nervous the first day, and pretended to be Quack the Duck all week, but he liked it, he wants to do it again next year, and he had a lot of fun.

The play was based on the book, Giraffes Can't Dance by Giles Andreae. Joey was a rhinoceros. He was fabulous. I would show you the clips, but you can see a lot of the other kids, and some of them would prefer not to be on the internet. So you have to take my word for it, he was fabulous and his usual beautiful hammy self up there.

However, he was also his usual beat behind on the dance routines and most of the lines. We might need to stress the sign language and visual supports more in stuff like this, because I know he notices and finds it frustrating.

The kids do everything to put on the play. They make the costumes (which included a tail they had to stuff, the headbands, the necklaces, and attaching squares of fabric to their t-shirts), the props, the set- there were paper flowers, paper plate snakes, paper ants, trees to be made, stars for the backdrop, everything. They had a choreographer come help them learn to move and dance, a drama instructor and director, they had the kids do everything. Each kid had a little dance they did with one or two other kids, a section of the book to say, and several group dances. They did a great job.

Joey had two awesome coaches for the week. He got to have two because during orientation, the staff was graced with witnessing one of Joey's bolting dashes out the door. I showed them Peep and the Big Wide World on the first day and explained the whole Quack thing, and then fell right into it. They didn't even mind when he signed himself in as Quack Guyton. Apparently, they went home, checked out the website, and were right in tune to help Joey along. They were awesome.

They have a couple of one-day workshops in the fall, and we are so totally there. And next summer? Sign us up!

Summer Update On Us

Summer is now in Full Swing.

Last week was Free Week 1. That means nobody had any formal anything to do. Usually I try to keep the guys super-busy, but with Joey being already out-of-sorts, I did my best to give them time to settle. We went to the Richmond Zoo, which was A.W.E.S.O.M.E. The boys got to feed giraffes, play with free-flying parakeets, and get up close and personal with free-ranging chickens and peacocks. (Friends Who Visit, the next time you come this way, I have The Perfect Place To Go).

We also spent some time at Colonial Beach, with our good buddy the Awesome Neighbor. So far, so good.

Then my business trip was upon us and Joey started freaking out a bit. Fortunately, I knew he might, so had planned closer-to-home activities and lots of pool time. Also, we have been joined by Evan. To make a long story short and sweet, we have my adopted brother here for the foreseeable future, which is A-OK with my boys, because they think Evan is awesome. He's been getting used to our routines and quirks.

Mom going away for two days is not a good thing for boys. We made it through, and here I be again.

Joey has a theater camp this week, designed for kids with communication and speech issues. He seems to be enjoying it. On Friday, the group will put on a play, and he seems happy. The only thing is, he has decided this week to be Quack instead of Joey, so I'm worried he might be a little anxious. We sign the kids in and out of the camp, and they each have their own "coach" as well as the adults running the programs. Joey has two coaches (he ran during orientation, so they decided to double-team him just in case). The coaches come out and take them in, then bring them out at the end. Yesterday, Joey signed himself in as Quack. Today, the coaches bid him goodbye, saying "See you tomorrow, Quack!" Hmmm...

Andy has been having "Nature Camp" at Grandma's while Joey is at theater camp. Andy's been very into the Wild Kratts, so he seemed keen to be into nature stuff. I thought we'd be doing some wading in teh river, but he hasn't been keen on going into the woods. We had a nice nature walk on Monday, and yesterday Grandma found an awesome chemistry set so we ran some simple experiments. Today we skipped it in favor of picking out fireworks for the Fourth. He seems happy, though.

After camp, we have lunch and then go to the pool. I decided to have this routine for the summer, so that Joey could stay oriented and not freaked out like last summer. He's picked right up on it. Today, Andy needed a little sit-down before pooltime, and Joey was pretty upset. I told him to get his suit on, and I got mine on, since he likes it when I swim with him. Then I came downstairs and discovered no Joey.

Back upstairs... no Joey.

Apparently, I forgot to lock the door when I brought the fireworks in.

I popped out but didn't see him looking down the street, but that was also likely because he was behind a car or something. Awesome Neighbor's grandfather came over to tell me was, indeed, headed down the street, and was far enough along that running wasn't going to cut it (he had seen me pop out and call for Joey, so he started looking, too). I hopped in the car, and was off to catch him. He turned up a street, headed for the pool himself. When I caught up with him and asked him where he was going, he clearly said, "The pool! It's pool time!" So I explained that he needed a towel, and had no money for the snack bar, and they won't let him in without an adult! And he hopped right into the car, no complaints or anything.

Whew.

This might be a long summer.

Hint of what we've been up to, until I have a minute to blog

And Happy Solstice!

Happy Father's Day

To JoeyAndyDad, because he is so awesome
Because he loves his boys with all his heart, and al his might
To a Dad who pushes his boys to be the best they can be
A Dad who teaches his boys new things- like drinking from cup, or setting a table
A Dad who goes to IEP meetings, and scrutinizes them at every report card day
A Dad who loves to hug his boys, and read to them at night, and squish them all day.


To my Uncle Lou, because he understands
For his patience and acceptance of our guys
And his willingness to give them the time they need
And the hugs they want.

Happy Father's Day!

Hmmmmm... The Issue of Recognition

When I was in fifth grade, the great goal of the "gifted" set was to be on the Safety Patrol. To wear that sash and badge and help direct the little ones to their buses was the mark of honor, the reward we got for putting up with a good deal- jibes and teasing from classmates for being nerds and curve-breakers, the scrounging of the over-acheivers and their busybody parents (helicopter parents are not as new as some would have you believe), and the work involved in learning and doing extra work that was often assigned to keep us busy. Being socially isolated on top of that, I took great pride in showing myself to be somebody by wearing that badge. I had the extra knock in fifth grade because I didn't test into the highest math group (in the tests, though every single I gave was accurate, apparently I did not do the problems quickly enough...), making me a social pariah even among the gifted group as "not good enough."*

When one is doing a lot of work and getting very little reward or seeing very little use in it, little things like awards and certificates and hearing your name called can be a huge deal- especially when you are a child.

Seared into my memory is that day I was not made a patrol for a whole six weeks of the fifth grade. My whole little world was aimed at maintaining my position, perhaps to be eventually made Captain! But no, I was knocked aside- with only one B on my report card (my handwriting sucked)- for a girl with all Cs, and one who was particularly good at making it clear I was none too socially included in my class- I was too tall, too plain, too fat, and too bookish.

I remember the teacher sending me out of the room, because I actually started to cry. Did she have any idea what a disaster had befallen me? No, she had no clue. I got a lecture about how I was supposed to be so mature, how she needed this award to go to this girl who had worked so hard to get that all-C report card. How I would have this honor many times, and this might be the only chance this girl got. Oh yes, I remember. I could quote you the conversation exactly if I didn't think you'd find it boring. And I reacted like a 10-year-old might, left to pull myself together in that hall and chew on my disgrace among my peers, alone. To be honest, it still makes me tear up, that's how horrible it was. After all... I was ten years old. The reverberations from that disgrace actually did follow me for the rest of my school years, forever on the fringe.

At ten, I comprehended what the teacher wanted, and why this had happened. My brain processed it coldly, and still chews on it now. Someone else needed a reward. They needed something to work for. They needed a goal, a carrot before their nose. And apparently, I was undeserving of that. My work was worth nothing compared to the needs of another. My needs were not as important as another's. Clearly, my own pain was a frivolity, my own position of less worth. Why would a child who has talent need a reward for those talents?

We can, as adults, probably see clearly why that girl needed that safety patrol badge more than I did; I can already tell you who will tell me so, either in the comments or the emails I will get later, about how petty and childish it is to dwell upon that moment, or still feel it painful to do so. Certainly, that teacher did what she needed to do to help that other girl- she rose to be Captain of the Patrols (what a miserable six weeks that was for me), and a decent student through high school. I can sit here and reason it out and provide solid logic for it. None of that adult reasoning does anything to help a ten-year-old girl, I can tell you, especially one who was still considered new and trying to fit into social circles enough to at least not feel alone.


Joey came home today with his awards from school (we didn't go to the ceremony because he was at Mt. Vernon- he got his awards when they got back). He has certificates that say he knows multiplication 0-4, and 0-9. Woo. Hoo. He's known those for almost two years now. He had a nice Health Award, and a Most Improved Participation in Music award.

And that is what he got. No math. No reading.

Kinda makes you wonder about who gets awards and how it is determined, doesn't it? Your top math student gets no math award? What's that about? Do people not understand what powerful reinforcement these awards can be?

Trust me, I just spent a lovely twenty minutes hearing all about it. The field trip to Mt. Vernon? I had to pull teeth to get anything about it. That two other students got math awards, and he didn't? I know all about it. And I assure you, I will be giving him lots of hugs and kisses and working hard to make him understand how proud I am of him tonight. After a year like he has had, to have no recognition of his strength in math before his peers is, I know well, searing. Already being the only top math student not in the gifted program, plus being disabled with social interaction issues, is quite bad enough, without this. Add into it the loss of the spelling bee. And after the year he's endured? Come on, let him know you are proud of his academics. It's not like its even being a patrol- all it costs you is a piece of paper. Seriously.




*And just a little fault of vindictiveness here, boy did I prove that to be a joke when I became the youngest captain of the high school math team as a junior.

Kittehs Available to Good Homes

A neighbor has five lovely little kittehs up for adoption. If you are in the Baltimore-Washington-Richmond corridor/area and need a nice babeh kitteh, drop me a line, I'll hook you up with a little sweetie-petitey.

We Have A Winner

With the end of the school year comes those awesome awards ceremonies, where you get to see your kid get an award for being awesome. Last year, Andy got no awards. He was very upset, and I didn't blame him, since he worked very hard all year. But that is how it goes with awards- not everyone gets one.


This year, he got three.

Andy earned his Excellence in Reading and Excellence in Math awards, which are based on the testing the schools do. The Reading one also considers if you choose to read or write when you have spare time. What was super-cute is when they asked "and who will be doing lots of reading this summer?" he hesitated before tentatively putting up his hand... half-heartedly. Hmm. But don't worry, I have some awesome books for him for the summer, we should be fine. The math award is more rare than the reading one, so that was pretty cool.

He also got the Good Citizenship award- the one you get when you have behaved yourself all year and been a good friend to everybody. Suspiciously, the bully we had to contend with this year also got Good Citizenship. Hmmm...

I am super-proud of my soon-to-be-second-grader. He is awesome, and worked hard this year to be super-awesome. Go, Andy!!!

Take Me Out to the Ball Game

It was Joey's last game of the season. How quick was that? Andy went out to play, too.


Joey is really running, now. There is something lovely about running those bases, especially with an awesome buddy!


Andy likes to field with the best of them! Especially looking cool.


Joey fields the ball.


Andy going for a ball He's pretty good at getting it to one of the real players, so they can throw it to first or home.


Joey and Andy make a great fielding team!


Andy got the ball a few times this game (sometimes he doesn't get one, and feels sad.)


Joey makes a sharp-looking outfielder, too.


He also played first base. No catcher today, it was too hot for anyone to put on the pads.


Joey got two excellent hits today! (We only played two innings.)


Joey gets on base.


Andy taking a break in the dugout. There must be other Little League games today, because the Little League set up its concession stand while we were there. Andy got some cool candies.


Joey, about to be safe at home! Go Joey!

We will miss you, Challengers! See you in the Fall!