Friday, July 18, 2008

A thought on life

When I drop off Andy at school, there is a van with one of those "in loving memory" decals on the back window. The loving memory is of a child who lived just shy of six months.

I know a lot of kids that some people think would be better off not being here. In fact, there are people in this world who think Joey is one of those kids. They make it clear with their attitudes towards prenatal testing, their attitudes towards disabilities, and even the way they act when they discover Joey is autistic.

I just want those people to know a few things.

I love Joey and Andy. I wouldn't trade them and who they are for all the tea in China.

Just because autism is part of who Joey is, and I love Joey as he is, doesn't mean I don't want to help him, support him, and raise him. I want him to grow and be happy and enjoy life. He's doing a good job of that.

Let me make that really clear: Joey loves living. He enjoys life. He wants to be here, too.

I know several children who are more disabled than Joey with various conditions. I assure you that they all enjoy being here, too.

There are things far worse than having a disabled child. I cannot imagine the pain of the parent at Andy's school. And I hope I never know what that is like. I am absolutely sure it is far worse than anything I have ever experienced. Ever. And to that parent- I am thinking of you and your family.


Niksmom said...

This really strikes a chord with me; during our 209 day NICU stay, I personally witnessed several different families lose their precious babies. Some were only hours old but a couple were months old. I was devastated; I cannot even begin to imagine their loss.

It is so evident from the photos you share of Joey that he loves living life to the fullest! No half-measures for him! :-)

Angela said...

I 100% agree...

ghkcole said...

I know exactly what you mean.
I am admittedly prone to a vicious cycle that goes like this:
self-pity party, dark period of shame and guilt for self-pity party, repeat

One of my biggest supporters? A friend who never tells me to get over myself? A dear friend whose daughter, just weeks older than my rooster, died of SIDS at five and a half months.

it humbles me. i know i am lucky. i am working on having more gratitude, less attitude.

kristi said...

Great post. I feel the same way about my son.

Stimey said...

Really nicely said. Of all the things that autism is, it is not a threat to my family. There are MANY worse ways to be.