Thursday, September 04, 2008


Kids like talismans- small objects to hold for security. Joey and Andy are no exception. Andy has blankie, which must be with him whenever he is upset or getting ready to sleep. The only place blankie goes out of the house is the beach; otherwise, it lives here, lest it be lost and disaster ensue.

Joey has sort of daily favorites, sometimes weekly favorites. Cars are popular. School buses seem to be a great favorite. Blocks work very nicely. The blue plastic elephant from the beach is this week's talisman.

These talismans are security for my kids. It is such a small thing, to save a lot of headache.

For some reason, there is a campaign among adults, including some of the teachers and therapists at Joey's school, to eliminate the need for a talisman. They think nothing to chiding children for having one, taking it away, telling them t put it in their cubby or their locker or their bookbag for the day.

How much more focus and work they could get if that talisman remained in the hand!

Whenever we go out to stores, restaurants, even the park, that talisman give Joey that little bit of solid support, that little bit of fidget, that little bit of what he needs to cope. The reason given for taking these items is that the kids might get teased.

Somehow I think a meltdown would be far more distracting and a target for teasing than a matchbox car.

But that's just me, I suppose.


Talair said...

I think you're right about that last line especially. Gus is very attached now to his headphones, whether he needs them or not, he just likes to know they're there. If people would just let people be, the world would be a much pleasanter place for everyone.

Niksmom said...

Kind of makes you wonder what would happen if you asked them (the adults, I mean) to give up their "lucky penny/rabbit's foot" or their special coffee mug, or special pencil...or whatever. They'd think you were being ridiculous.

It's the double standards we allow for our children (in general) which trouble me.

Jeff Deutsch said...

Hello Joeymom,

I'm an adult Aspie, though I don't use a talisman. In any case, I completely agree with you: if I were a teacher, I'd allow talismans (within reason) as long as they didn't disrupt the owner's or anyone else's learning.

As for the reason to ban them - that makes me sick. Let me get this straight - some children are intolerant of them, so the school wants to be even more intolerant.

That really teaches kids about bullying, all right - you just have to get enough fellow bullies on your side, and the authorities will do your work for you. I couldn't think of a worse civics lesson.

Keep up the good work, congratulations to Joey on starting full-fledged elementary school and my best wishes to Joey and the rest of your family!

Jeff Deutsch