Saturday, June 16, 2007

Just a little update

Busy busy busy here... Andy is potty training. I am running around after him with the paper towels today- we're wearing our underwear!

And they are spending the day watching Signing Time, so we're practicing our signs. Joey only takes a couple of viewings before he has it, or at least the idea of it. Our OT was excited because signing requires bilateral coordination and some motor planning- so it takes him a little longer to be able to do the sing, but he understands it almost right away.

Fun fun fun!

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Theory of Mind: What is this rot?

The topic of "theory of mind' has been popping up in all sorts of odd places for me- particularly the idea that autistic people don't have it. Either I don't get what "theory of mind" is, or the idea that autistics don't have it is a lot of rot.

In a basic simplification, I understood that the "theory of mind" means that one person can understand that another person has a mind. It is being used as a shorthand for the ability to pick up and react to other people's emotions, because you understand that they HAVE emotions, thoughts, feelings, beliefs, etc., and that these emotions, thoughts, etc. might be different from yours.

Setting aside that I know a lot of non-autistic people who have a lot of trouble with the second part of that, I haven't yet met an autistic person who didn't have these abilities. They might not be able to react appropriately to other other people, but that seems to be more a problem of processing and accessing proper response. Kind of like Joey having a hard time accessing words spontaneously, and so he has a great deal of trouble with communication and expressive language. He copes with this by scripting, or quoting like Mrs. Who. Sometimes he accesses something other than what was intended, resulting in words that make no sense; or he can access nothing at all, resulting in either silence or frustrated squealing (or other noise).

In other words, Joey seems to have no trouble understanding that other people are, in fact, people. He is very sensitive to emotional states- especially mine. He certainly understands that other people do not feel and think the same way he does. And he's only 5, and I've had evidence of this for a while.

People who are not autistic seem to come up with the odd ideas when they just can't get the fact that there are people in the world who cannot communicate orally- or even verbally. They seem to have their own problems with "theory of mind" in that they can't understand that there are other ways to communicate. Joey's private speech therapist has been very apologetic since she started Joey on ASL, because it became immediately apparent that Joey understood a lot more of what was being said- and what he wanted to say- than she had been giving him credit for. With teh visual cues, Joey can circumvent some of the auditory processing and instead use his visual processing- and so can better understand what is expected of him and what is being said to him. He can also access his words better and faster.

Before Joey had use of words, even signs, we knew what he wanted and needed much of the time. We could certainly tell if he was happy or unhappy, if he liked anothe person or not, that sort of thing. We had communication with him, and he understood to communicate with us- just not in the "usual" ways.

Theory of Mind seems to be just another way of trying to depict autistic people as something less than human. Of taking away their sense of humanity by taking away their sense of community. It is easier to make an object of a person you believe is making an object of you.

Joey gets the idea of people. When Andy hurts himself, he's quick with that hug and kiss- always was. When Mom is nervous abotu an IEP meeting, he gets upset, too, and lots more cuddly (and clingy). When we're all happy, he's all smiles. He wants to make people around him feel happy. When he laughs inappropriately, he's still reacting, and even usually seems to know that laughter isn't what he intended. He's got the idea that other people have minds.

I have no idea yet if he knows those minds aren't like his.

Sunday, June 10, 2007


On the advice of our doc, we got a disabled parking placard. This is a little peice of plastic that looks like a do-not-disturb doorknob sign, and it allows us to park in disability parking spots when we have Joey with us. I've been putting off getting it. Joey doesn't have trouble with actual mechanics of walking- at least, not enough to prevent him from crossing a parking lot. With the increase in bolting, the doctor thought we should go ahead and get one, though, because some places around here only have off-street parking for disabled persons. Getting Joey in and out of a car in a lot, instead of on the street, is far, far safer, especially if the place is unknown or not well-known.

We used it for the first time yesterday. We took the bairns to the mountains. It's a nice ride, and Skyline Drive is so pretty. Joey was a little overwhelmed by the views, but Andy liked it, especially if a bird flew out over the valley. We stopped for lunch, and the lot was full- except the disabled spots. We added up our situation: strange place with busy parking lot, lots of people, no other spots available anyway, spot available almost at door. We whipped out our new placard and parked.

It was amazing.

Normally in such a situation, getting out of the car would have been a carefully orchestrated set of events intended to keep Joey tethered to one of us while the other wrestled Andy out of his harness. We then do a careful hand-in-hand dance across the tarmac hoping that wriggling fingers don't break free and suddenly have a boy in front of a moving vehicle, or worse, have a child melt down.

Not this time. We pulled into the spot, and herded the boys almost directly onto the sidewalk, away from cars. Then we went smoothly into the building. Coming out was even better. Out the door and into the car. No tarmac-crossing necessary. No danger of stepping in front of cars. No worries about getting halfway to the car and losing a child to wriggling or melting. No problemo.

Today I took them to Maymont. I used the magic of disabled parking again. The disabled spots are right in front of a little path enclosed by shrubbery right down to the door. No steps to trip on. No crossing in front of traffic. I can't BELIEVE how much safer this is. I'm just flabbergasted.

I won't need it in common places like the grocery store, because I park next to the carts, since Joey prefers to ride safely enclosed in a cart. But in unfamiliar lots... what a lifesaver!