Aches

I had a funeral to go to today. At my age, funerals are still rare things. You go to funerals for your older relatives, as the generations shift and your parents become the Grandparents and you become the Parents. Funerals are places where you see older people gathered about remembering the good old days. At my age, you can still count how many people are missing from your high school class, your college class. It stings to lose someone, but death is still something Over There, something that happens in a natural shift of the world in time. Then comes that first death when it really hits you, these people are gone, and its just too soon to start going to funerals for your friends. Seriously. I'm not old enough to be doing this.

I sat in the back, because to be honest, I'm not likely to be high up on this person's lists of People I Think About. When he graduated high school, I wasn't even there yet. He was in the band with my brother, who was in high school. He and his twin brother would sometimes come to the house; I was so young, I couldn't even tell you why they were there, probably something to do with band practices and stuff, and they were friends of my brother. I remember my brother thinking the world of them. I remember them actually including me, talking to me, joking with me, as if I wasn't just the Little Sister, but just another part of the Band Folks.

Think about your own high school days. Do you remember those seniors and juniors who took notice of you? Do you remember those kids who came after you? Did you even think about kids that came in to high school after you had left? Yeah, I doubt I was very high on the list. My brother, possibly; there was no forgetting my brother once you had met him, especially then, when his zany humor was at its zenith.

I went alone to this one. Bringing the boys would not be a good idea, spring fever is upon us. I sat in the back with another woman who was also alone. She was a few years older than me, so likely that she went to school with the twins. I scanned the room, wondering why there weren't more young people my age (well, slightly older than me, but close enough) in the room; everyone looked to be at least forty.

Did you just palm-slap your head in my honor?

So much for the amusing part. It was a really nice service, but it was really wrenching to see the family in so much pain, people I have such respect for, people I have looked up to since I was just becoming a teenager, people who, to me, embody the kind of people I want to be- loving, inclusive, welcoming, honest, honorable people. This was a loss of a hero. Did I really know these people now? Not really. But the memory of who they were, of that feeling of being a part and not an outsider at that moment, its one of those things that help you through the rough patches of growing up, and you think about it. A lot.

I think about these people every day, from the time I get up to the time I fall asleep, even though they hardly know me at all.

Rest in peace, David Cross.

And all my love and prayers for his brother and sister-in-law, Joey and Jennie Cross.

Tomorrow is Friday

List of things to do tomorrow, my day off (in no particular order; I have to write things down as the pop into my head or they're gone):

Mail shoes to Niksmom for Nik
Prune Roses
Dig Garden (if ground is dry enough)
Clean basement and organize art supplies
Clean livingroom
Needlepoint for mom's easter present
Mulch pruning clippings
Weed garden
Get cow or horse manure for garden
Spread same
Try to fix sandbox roof that collapsed in snowmageddon
Fix cheeseburgers for dinner
Find chairs for kitchen
Set up shelves in Andy's room, remove bin holder and baby toys
Ditto for Joey's room
Change fish water
Clean cat boxes

Hmmmm... I wonder how much of this I will actually get to?

Edit:
Got the garden done, the pruning done, the cats done, the fish done, started on teh basement... and put some polyurethane on my porch table. Forgot to put that on the list. :P

Revelations of Spring

So this morning as we took our short jaunt to the bus stop, we noticed the buds were busting all over the place. Yes, indeed, spring is here! And Andy wanted to know about the red things on one tree, and if they would be cherries. No, I explained, this was a maple tree, and these red things were blooms. On another tree, the beds were opening into leaves.

I was suddenly reminded of Helen Keller. I have always been struck with the story of her learning words. After several days of trying to teach Helen to spell, Anne held her hand under water at the pump while spelling 'water'; and Helen suddenly got it. Words meant something, and a whole new world opened up. Kind of like Andy understanding the sign for candy.

After years of pointing to and naming trees, it hit Andy smack in the face- trees had names. There were different kinds. Suddenly, he wanted to know what kind of tree this was. And what about this one? How about that one? What kind of tree is that? And that? And that?

Its amazing to see a little mind click into gear, with voracity and determination. There is meaning here, and I want it all now!

Unfortunately, most of the trees were different kinds of maple trees, and without the leaves, I'm a bit at a loss (I know you can tell which one is which without the leaves, but I'm not that good). I did get to point out holly, dogwood, oak, pear, and more maple. Hey, its a start.

Top O' the Mornin'!

Finian's Rainbow

On the day I was born,
Said my father, said he.
I've an an elegant legacy
Waitin' for ye,
'Tis a rhyme for your lip
And a song for your heart,
To sing it whenever
The world falls apart.

Look, look
Look to the rainbow.
Follow it over the hill and stream.
Look, look
Look to the rainbow.
Follow the fellow
Who follows a dream.

'Twas a sumptuous
To bequeath to a child.
For the lure of that song
Keeps my heart runnin’ wild.
“Tis a rhyme for me lip
And a song for me heart
And I sing it whenever the world falls apart.

Look, look
Look to the rainbow.
Follow it over the hill and stream.
Look, look
Look to the rainbow.
Follow the fellow
Who follows a dream.

So I bundled me heart
And I roamed the world free
To the East with the lark
To the West with the sea
And I searched all the earth
And I scanned all the skies
But I found it at last in my own true love’s eyes.

Look, look
Look to the rainbow.
Follow it over the hill and stream.
Look, look
Look to the rainbow.
Follow the fellow
Who follows a dream.

'Twas a sumptuous
To bequeath to a child.
For the lure of that song
Kept her feet funnin' wild.
For you never grow old
And you never stand still,
With whippoorwills singin'
Beyond the next hill.

Look, look
Look to the rainbow.
Follow it over the hill and the stream.
Look, look
Look to the rainbow.
Follow the fellow
Who follows a dream.
Follow the fellow,
Follow the fellow,
Follow the fellow
Who follows a dream.

Update: Zakh Price

I've been jaunting about the internet trying to find out what happened with Zakh Price. Apparently, he won his due process hearing, but the felony assault charges are going forward. I hope they have a judge with some sense over there.

Energy Bottoms Out

If you aren't into whining, move on to the next blog. Nothing to see here. Thanks.

Still here? I'm now going to whine. Like a little spoiled drama queen girl who doesn't get her way.

I have a lot of things I am supposed to be doing. Normal, regular things that got out of hand, out of control, and outer space. The fault is entirely my own, because my nature is not the neat and tidy kind. In fact, I think I put pack-rats to shame. When I see a house in worse shape than mine, its A. on TV and B. on a show about how to clean out a packrat nest, and usually involves a team of 3-5 people and a large skip.

Not only am I naturally a disaster, but keeping on top of the pile takes time. Time around here is a tradable commodity. I'm not a stay-at-home mom, I'm a work-around-the-kids'-schedules mom. I put the kids on the bus, grab a shower (usually), check my email and tweets, and hit the road. Mom's office, where I do stuff like track our genealogy research cases, prep manuscripts for publishing, and light cleaning. My classroom, teaching intro art history to a variety of students at a variety of levels of college-readiness (and fewer and fewer of them are college-ready for my college class). If I'm lucky, I might get a few minutes to do some normal errand stuff, like pop into the grocery, or peck at my garden. The weekends are usually dedicated to my essay scoring job. Then I have the guys home, and I try to peck at some stuff. Usually I'm trying to engage them, picking up their toys, or taking Joey to speech (the OT is on temporary* hold), and trying to get Andy to do his homework. I try to sneak in some email and stuff if they get occupied with their own stuff. I'm on a kick to cook dinner better instead of tossing sandwiches, hot dogs, or something from the freezer at the boys and hope to get around to feeding the adults later, because my sugar numbers don't like me eating after about 7, and besides, its better for everybody. However, cooking takes time. Then its bed-time, and Andy still insists someone be in the room with him to go to sleep. Now it's 8:30, which isn't bad, and I have my online classes to do. When I have some time, I read some blogs, and somewhere between 11 and 12, unless my nerves are bad, we get some sleep. I'm supposed to have Fridays off. That's now a big joke around here.

Yeah, I could clean instead of reading blogs. I am aware of that. Thanks.

This last week, I actually made some progress. This is partly because the boys are in school an extra 20 minutes, though that's only translated to about 15 minutes later getting off the bus for some reason. Anyway, I managed to dig out my kitchen table, which I needed to do to support my Cook Dinner Better campaign. I was hoping by this time in the school year, I would have my basement dug out and set up for the boys, my garden mulched, pruned, and ready for spring, and perhaps have made some progress on my guest room, but so far, I've gotten the kitchen table dug out. Kinda. Oh, and the utility strip out front mulched, so I can keep down the dog poo. I need to add the herbal spray that discourages the dogs from using our utility strip as a latrine to my list of things to get at the store. That's about it.

Oh, wait, I actually cooked dinner. Twice.

Yeah. Yay for me.

*We hope.