Monday, July 13, 2009

You're Not Alone

One of the big reasons I blog is to give other folks a glimpse of life with an autistic child, to let them know that it is not something to be afraid of, and that there is someone else out here going through things you may be going through. There is a sense of support and security, a sense of comfort, in knowing you aren't the only one out here doing this, experiencing this, trying to help your child and your family.

I know I tend to keep the negatively neatly tamed here. Yes, we have bad days and weeks and months and they get blogged about, but the run-of-the-mill, every-day roller-coaster ride of having children, and especially special-needs children, I kind of leave out for the most part. It may seem our lives are all fun and roses and smiles. Like that last post about the beach? I left out the major double meltdown when clouds appeared on the horizon and I decided it was time to head home before rain hit. Why? Because personally, I find the fun more notable, and more worth remembering than the screaming that followed. Perhaps it is a leftover of being a mom- you keep the baby and forget the labor pains.

Some of my readers have commented to me what a lovely summer we are having. Yes, we are. And no, we aren't. Its been very much our usual roller-coaster. We are having some issues, some of them minor, some of them not so minor. Name-calling, biting, running, melting, hyperactivity, yes, they are still part of our lives.

So folks, you aren't alone.

If you’ve ever been frustrated with your child’s progress (or lack thereof) to the point of wanting to cry or scream (or actually crying or screaming), you’re not alone.

If you’ve ever been so afraid of a regression that you stayed up half the night trying to think of what to do for your child, you’re not alone.

If you’ve cried in public out of sheer stress of dealing with a melt down, you’re not alone.

If you’ve ever lost it in an IEP meeting, you’re not alone.

If you’ve ever prayed hard for a stiff drink while trying to get your melting-down child to a car that was clear across the parking lot, you’re not alone.

All those days and nights of stress, tears, tearing out your hair, worrying, studying, chasing children, and wishing your life was being spent somewhere else, and thought you were alone? You weren’t. I was right there with you.

I am still right here with you. I just want to put out that reminder that there are ups and downs all over, and the ups are every bit worth those downs. There is a reason God put wine upon this earth, and sometimes I need an extra glass, just like you.

If you're having one of those minutes, hours, days, weeks, summers... here's a hug for you. You aren't alone.


ghkcole said...

As a big fan of your blog, it's saying something when I tell you: I think this post is my favorite you ever wrote. Amen. Ditto. I'll drink to that. Thank you, and hugs.

Sally's World said...

an honest, open, moving post, disabilities, special needs, it all makes us feel alone at times....right now, deion havign the swine flu is isolating us further, so i am having a hard time, your words gave me comfort today, thank you xxx

Maddy said...

I like that 'keep the baby and forget the labour pains,' and yet I think we share a similar attitude in the blogging department. I am a very big moaner and complainer. Some days it's all I can do to drag myself through things and I think that is probably exactly why I focus so much on the little gems of progress. You're right. They're can be times when we all seem to be stuck in a big quagmire when nothing seems to be going right and we seem to lose skills and sink. The frustrating thing is that it happens again and again and again. Each time I am more or less in a complete panic. It also makes me realise just how much they have grown that the meltdowns are so depressing, that they really have come so far. It's the kind of reminder I'd prefer to avoid but that said given a few days / weeks we seem to percolate back on track. I think it stops me becoming complacent, pushes me to 'wake up' and be a bit more proactive. I detect ramble, so I'll shut up now. Hugs right back to you.
Best wishes

Casdok said...

And hugs for you to :)

Courtney said...

I just stumbled upon your blog after stumbling upon another blog you were linked on. I needed to hear I wasn't alone today. Thank you! -Mom of two boys on the spectrum

Stimey said...

I love this post. I don't know why it helps, but it does. Knowing other women get it matters a lot.

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joellreyy87 said...

The irritating factor is that it takes place over and over and again. On every occasion, I'm more or Do My Dissertation less in a whole panic. It also makes me recognize just how plenty they've grown that the meltdowns are so depressing. I needed to hear I wasn't alone today. Thank you! -mother of boys at the spectrum.

shaikhsalman said...

I like that 'keep the infant and fail to remember the work torments,' but I think we share a comparable mentality in Accounting Software In UAE contributing to a blog office. I'm an extremely huge moaner and grumbler. Occasionally it's everything I can do to drag myself through things and I imagine that is presumably precisely why I center such a huge amount around the little pearls of progress. You're correct.

Alfarajioiluae said...

Every now and then it's the entirety I will do to drag myself thru matters and I consider this is probably exactly why I center any such huge amount around the little pearls of progress. It additionally makes me apprehend just how masses they have grown that the meltdowns are so depressing. I had to pay attention I wasn't on my own nowadays.

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