Sunday, June 08, 2008

The Floor Dwellers

Andy and Joey both love to step on things.

I'm sure its a sensory thing, extra pressure and texture on the bottoms of their feet. They are not picky about what it under their feet; they seem to be absently pressing their feet onto the objects. Often they stand in the middle of the floor, absorbed in their little worlds (or the TV), with something under their feet. I usually have to tell them to stop stepping on whatever it is.

Joey often steps on things because his motor planning is poor. It take a lot of extra planning to lift your foot and place it on the floor somewhere other than your natural gait. It also is tricky to be watching the floor while you are trying to plan out where your body intends to go and hurdle your body in the exactly correct direction.

What I am talking about is different. This is a deliberate action, a purposeful, slow, planned stepping on an object.

this becomes a real problem when the object they are stepping on is not intended to take any weight. Like metal buses, fishing poles, pens, blocks. Either we end up with broken toys, or broken feet.

I may take up massaging their feet.

Friday, June 06, 2008

Alex Barton: Civil Case in the Works

Yes, the Bartons have notified the district that they intend to sue. The district has six months to respond.

I hope they win. I hope the District uses this as an opportunity to change their system and train their teachers. I hope they have to pay for Alex's psychological counseling and a new school placement, such as a private situation with full support. I hope they respond to the filing by clearly agreeing to do these things, and then following through.

The district now has a fabulous opportunity to right some wrongs. Let's see if they do the right thing.

Update: The Cardiologist

It's official, I've talked to the cardiologist about all those tests I took last week, and they are all negative. Stress it is. Oh, and avoid things that might aggravate it, like caffeine. Oh, and I gained seven pounds. Lucky me.

Thursday, June 05, 2008

GO NIKSDAD!!!

I know I get some spill-over readership from the medical blogs I read and comment on- thank for being here! I'd like to invite all folks interested, including you medical-types, to cross fingers, pray to deities, and otherwise think great thoughts for Niksdad, the dad of Nik and husband of my friend Niksmom, who takes his exam tomorrow to be an LPN. Here's rooting for Niksdad! WOO-HOO!!!!

Alex Barton update 3

Just some more stuff on Alex Barton, to make up for the gap of my other posts:

Alex Barton and his family get support.

An article about placement and LRE and the balancing act of figuring out appropriate placement.

An article in support of Ms. Portillo.

An interesting column about the heart of the problem.

Editorial about autism in classrooms.



There are several letters written to the paper, so you may want to put "Alex Barton" in the search box and take a peek!

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Wordless Wednesday: Summer Begins



Tuesday, June 03, 2008

A note on Andy

Some of you may remember that I have two sons. Joey is the autistic one. Andy is not autistic, but he does have sensory integration dysfunction (or sensory processing disorder, whichever you prefer). We have him in occupational therapy and in school, and he's made improvement.

He has now turned four, so it is re-evaluation time! We were hoping he was ready to come out of therapy at the end of summer. But it's a no-go. He's come out in the 25th percentile in fine motor skills, he's developed some new sensitivities that need to be addressed. So we're here at least through the fall. This makes Andy pretty happy, actually, because he gets to see his Miss Cindy that much longer.

With the 25th percentile, I could probably request special education again, but frankly, he's happy where he is and working with the preschool was like trying to get an alligator to ride a bicycle. If we are still here when kindergarden comes around, I might ask for child find again. Our kindergarden team rocks.

Monday, June 02, 2008

The Moments to Live For

It is one of those moments. He had reached out his hand, and tapped me lightly on my head, pulling my attention from the computer screen to those eyes... sparkling with the devil in him. I like to think that glint is a bit of my great-grandmother in him- the one who teased her Methodist minister husband with her evening drinkie. Yes, there it is- that sparkle, that moment before he brings Mommy into the game, makes that connection, creates more joy in the world with wild giggles, all with one magic word:

"Goose."

Excuse me while I get to chasin' my boy.

To reveal or not to reveal: that is the question

When do you tell people your child has autism? How do you explain autism and being autistic?

Joey goes to Sunday School. We haven't gone quite as much lately, because the new building is full of new chairs and new carpets and all the sizing and chemicals that go with new carpet and new upholstery, and apparently I am allergic to it. But he goes.

There were multiple purposes for him attending Sunday school. Primarily, it provides him some religious instruction. That has become less of a reason because the instruction I have been seeing isn't what I was hoping for- it looks far more Baptist than Methodist, and we're a very Methodist family. It also places him in a "normal" setting with non-disabled children. That has gone OK so far; we met with his Sunday School Supervisor and the teachers last year, though this years' teachers haven't been as willing to be trained. Being pat of a church gives him a church family, and a possible support network as he gets older. Also, we have a "contemporary" service and Joey liked to go drum and listen to the music, which we also haven't done lately. When they moved to the new building, it really threw him off, and he's had to start from scratch in getting used to the room again. With my allergies, he hasn't had much opportunity, either.

The Sunday School is fairly informal, with children coming and going depending on whether their parents decided to go to church, including guests from elsewhere. There are regulars like us, and then there are other random kids that come and go, or new families who move in and join.

Usually after Sunday School, we go get some McD's for lunch and try to talk about what they learned-mostly Bible stuff (If you aren't Methodist, you might not understand why I find that interesting enough to note. In other Methodist churches, Sunday School consisted of using modern material to discuss Biblical ideas. You didn't learn the Good Samaritan, you learned stories about modern children who helped their families and neighbors in all sorts of [mostly mundane] ways, thus providing a model for appropriate behavior and values). The boys usually like being in Sunday School and are often in good moods after.

But not yesterday. Yesterday, when I dropped the guys off, they were in pretty good moods; but when I picked them up, Joey was "sad". His teachers said he had been sad all morning. As usually, they had no idea why. However, I had an inkling- a new child was in the room when I dropped him off, and when Joey echoed something at the child, the child had objected (Joey;s very into races and winning races this weekend, and the child told him point blank "But there's no race!" when Joey tried to include him.) From talking to Joey, apparently that was not the end of the incident, and his friend Lucy (a little girl who has been in Joey's Sunday School class for over a year now) intervened ("She played with me").

This is a problem we encounter more in Sunday School than I was originally expecting- partly from my own naivete. I have seen several children not only actively avoid Joey, but being encouraged to do so by their parents. When you mention that Joey is autistic, their faces go hard, and the avoidance is redoubled. Joey's old Sunday School teachers would regularly remind students about autism and that Joey needed do "do his own thing" like move around the room and write instead of draw. (These reminders also served to educate new class members). These teachers seem to want to ignore it. Their idea of inclusion is to simply treat all the kids the same, and since Joey is so "high functioning", hope that he blends in enough to be OK.

The result is that some kids accept him, especially ones that are used to him. And some kids think he's really weird, and avoid him. And some kids think he's so weird, they tell him what they think of his weirdness- and this makes Joey sad.

I think asking Joey to change and "be like everyone else" is unreasonable and undesirable. However, leaving him to the wolves to fend for himself against kids who have never dealt with a disabled peer is also not fair- not to Joey, and not to the other child. After all, when they ostracize Joey, they miss having a cool friend! Though I don't want Joey labeled and seen only for his autism, I don't want him to be excluded by his peers because of ignorance if I can help it. So which approach to take? Telling people he is autistic, or trying to let him "blend in"?

Sunday, June 01, 2008

Singing his heart out

Just a few glimpses at Joey in his school Memorial Day concert. He had a wonderful time, loved the sining and signing, and did a fabulous job. I am so proud of my boy!



Friday, May 30, 2008

Mama Bear's Cubs and the Fate of Invaders

From the article about the police report on teh Alex Barton incident:

"...Portillo and children in the class said Alex was pushing a table up with his feet while he was under the table. She got the school resource officer to remove Alex from the classroom. It was the second discipline referral for Alex that day, the report said.

Portillo told the officer after he left the classroom with Alex, she talked with the other children.

“Portillo said she explained to them that the students in class were all her priority and she would protect them like a ‘bear defending her cubs,’” the report said.

When Alex returned to the class, Portillo said she and the class were not ready for him to return.

Portillo told the officer she asked Alex to join her at the front of the class. ..."

This makes it so crystal clear to me, the whole crux of this situation. Wendy Portillo's class children were her priority, and she was willing to protect her kids like a mama bear... except Alex. He didn't count. He was an outsider, an invader, an interloper. Knowing full well that he was in the process of being placed into special education with a pervasive developmental disability, instead of protecting him, she threw him out. Instead of talking to her children about inclusiveness, tolerance, and support for a classmate who was clearly having a hard time, she had them tell him to his face what they thought of him, and threw him out.

The students in her class were not "all her priority." Only the ones she thought deserved to be. Those others, though assigned to her classroom, are aliens. Disturbances.

Other.

Many of us are working hard to get our kids included, and so this strikes a hot nerve. Will our kids be supported and accepted into the community, or forever ostracized as "other"? Will they count as one of the students, or be thrown own to fend for themselves? Incidents such as these point to an alarming, heart-wrenching answer. As long as these kinds of incidents continue- often more subtle than the case of Alex Barton- we fear for our kids, and know the road ahead is long.

Alex Barton Cards

Want to cheer up a child who is feeling excluded?

Send a card to Alex Barton. It will make his day.

The Megan Pledge


I invite you all to take the Megan Pledge and check out the STOP cyberbullying website.

➢ I agree to take a stand against cyberbullying, including sharing this pledge with others and asking them to take it, too.
➢ I agree not to use technology as a weapon to hurt others.
➢ I agree to “Think Before I Click.”
➢ I agree to think about the person on the other side.
➢ I agree to support others being cyberbullied and report cyberbullying whenever I find it.
➢ I agree not to join in cyberbullying tactics or be used by cyberbullies to hurt others.
➢ I agree to “Stop, Block, and Tell” when I am being targeted by a cyberbully and to “Take 5!” to help me calm down and walk away from the computer.
➢ I agree to be part of the solution, not part of the problem.


Oh, and here's the latest on Alex Barton: Wendy Portillo's side of the story. No surprise, she didn't see anything wrong with what she did, or in taking a vote of student to toss Alex from the class (even just for the day). I recommend reading the article, we need all sides of the story we can get!

Thursday, May 29, 2008

The Crazy Season

Yes, IEPs are upon us. Thank GOD ours is over, and went smooth as glass. We'll keep our eyes open and be our usual little IEP-Meeting-Calling owls all year, but for now, the Big One is done. For a lot of folks, it is about to begin.

And so I offer here my Helpful Guide to IEP Season. Please just add your own tips in the comments- what helped you?

1. Know your child. Most years, we have actually put together a Powerpoint presentation outlining who Joey is, our big picture long-term goals, strengths, weaknesses, and our suggestions for goals. We stud it with pictures and movie clips, so that Joey is not just a name on a piece of paper being shuffled around a table. He becomes a real person, and the focus remains on his needs and success. Yes, the staff will groan when you show up with your laptop and presentation. Show it. Do it first.

2. Read From Emotions to Advocacy. If you haven't done that, and you have an IEP coming, go do that now. Really. Step away from the computer and go read it.

3. Get your stuff together. Since you did your homework and read From Emotions to Advocacy, you know to go out an buy a big binder, and put everything in it. Get a few binders. You may need a new one each year. Lots of paper is pushed in special ed.

4. Know what you want. This is probably the hardest, because who comes into this an expert on their kid's disability? It is worth becoming one. Short on time? If you have an autistic child, I recommend looking into physical therapy, occupational therapy, and speech therapy. Know what these fields do, and how they might benefit your child. Next, look up teaching strategies, such as ABA, floortime, TEACCH, pivotal response training, etc. and consider how they might (and might not) help your child. Ask if the teachers are familiar with these strategies. Then, look up sensory integration and sensory perception, and ask about sensory integration, sensory diet, and sensory accommodations. Are the staff trained to deal with sensory issues? What accommodations can they recommend?

5. Take someone with you. I have found having private therapists at the meeting makes a big difference- you have folks there on your side, paid to look after the interests of your child, with professional expertise to make educated and appropriate suggestions. Other people like other parents, or even hire professional advocates. Stack the team in favor of your child. If you have any inklng of doubt that your school personnel are not going to be batting for your child, get the room full of people whose only concern is your child's success and wellbeing.

6. Bring a tape or digital recorder. Record the entire meeting. Most districts require written notice that you will be doing this. Dear Sir/Madam: I am writing to inform you that I will be audiorecording the meeting on (date) in order to have a full record of (child)'s educational planning process. Yours, (You).

7. Don't panic. You don't have to sign the IEP the day of the meeting- take it home, look it over, take it to your private team. No worries. Even if you sign it, you can call a new meeting and change it.


Thats my advice to our new and near-new parents. I'm not too far from newbie-dom myself, so as I said before, comments are open. Advice is greatly appreciated.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Wordless Wednesday: Circus!





Alex Barton update 2

Today's latest on Alex Barton.


And it is definitely worth going over and seeing what Mom-NOS has to say.

A Day at the Doctor's

Some folks go to spas to get away from the kids. I hear cruises are nice breaks. Maybe an afternoon at the beach. Not me. I go to the cardiologist.

We checked out the PVCs today. An EEG and a nuke stress test. It was actually very nice, except for the IV (but the phlebotomist was fabulous, got in the first time!) and the running on the treadmill (they were having a hard time getting my rate to go up, because I've been going to the gym). We won't have official word on what the tests say until the 6th, but the initial outlook is...








Drum roll, please...









You know what's coming, right?



















STRESS.

Yeah, you knew it, smarty. The nurse practitioner was a stitch. She's looking at the read outs as they are coming out of the machine and the monitors and stuff, and telling me its probably not a blockage (yay!), and then starts asking me if I drink coffee. Or tea. Or eat a lot of chocolate. Do I smoke? No. No. No. (I told her I've been drinking more Diet Coke lately, but she said you have to drink a LOT of diet coke to consume enough caffeine to cause this- though she did say "It wouldn't hurt to knock it off, anyway! It's not good for you.") So then she smiles knowingly, cocks her head, and says, "Soooooo.... tell me about the stress in your life." A quick rundown of a typical day at my house is quite enough. The fact that we haven't been having a lot of "typical" days, but a whole lot of other emergencies and incidents and events, and... well, stress is a funny thing.

We'll see what the doctor says next Friday.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Alex Barton Update

Just the latest on Alex Barton- they "reassigned" his teacher. It will take two weeks for the district to "complete its investigation" by which I hope they mean "put together the paperwork we need to fire her butt." But we'll see.

Heroes


When I was young, my mom did lots of things to make sure my brother and I were raised, instead of just growing up. She got up and made us breakfast every day. She made dinners. Every day, the floors were vacuumed and mopped, the furniture dusted, and often the bathrooms scrubbed. I remember being sick from school, watching her work. On top of that, she did other jobs during the day, running errands, fixing things, needful projects. And she volunteered for school. As I got older, she volunteered elsewhere, too. She took us to the Smithsonian on weekends (when I was very little, we lived in PG County. When we got older, we kept going, just not as often.) She had watercolor paints, or playdough, or clay, or other projects for us to do. We spent a lot of time in the kitchen when I was the age of my boys. When we got older, we spent a lot of time out in the woods.

I wish I was more like my mom. My kids eat an awful lot of hot dogs and not enough pot roast (even with my crockpot, which my mom didn't have). My house? Disaster city. I have lots of materials for projects. They spend a lot of time in boxes or plastic bins. I have a "to do" of needful projects a mile long. My vacuum cleaner spends weeks in silence in the back hall (not even the closet where it belongs).

But I do my best. And one thing my mom taught me is that if you have the opportunity to try something new, try it. If an elephant presents itself, climb on its back. I think Joey is picking up on the lesson quite well- and trying new things is a great strength to have.

Thanks, Mom.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Come into my garden!

I have set up a new blog for pictures of the garden. So if you'd like a view of my roses, feel free to check it out.