Views from Joey's Camera

Coming soon: a good game of "guess what this picture is!" Joey likes all sorts of close-up textures.

Kickin' and Takin': Christmas Edition

So my mom so completely and totally rocks that she helps me pay for a person to come clean my first floor twice a month. Tomorrow is Cleaning Lady Day. I decided to take full advantage of this by getting a ready for Christmas as possible before she comes, so that once she cleans, the house will be "Christmas cleaned." This is two days sooner than I am normally ready for Christmas. I am often putting together my greens arrangements when the bayberry candle whiffs out on Christmas Eve/Christmas morning. But this year? I rock.

Tree up. Garlands up. Bannister garland up. New shelf displayed with my paper village and bottle-brush tree collection. Dining room table cleared and set with past Santa photos and a plate for Santa's cookies and a mug for Santa's milk (or Crown Royal...) Buffet cleared and set with Three Kings collection display. Mantel done. Greens arrangements done. Kitchen table cleared and Christmas tablecloth on. Kitchen (mostly) cleared. Boys' presents, husband's presents, Evan's presents, and Grandma's presents wrapped, except for the couple I just found hiding in the guest room.

Yes, folks, we are totally kickin' and takin' tonight. We'll just ignore the sore throat.

Tis the Season

I wonder why the boys seem to be out-of-sorts.

There is a large, sparkling and blinking tree in the living room. Over every portal in the house is a garland of sparkly, glittery objects. The kitchen is trimmed with lights that have 15 different settings for how fast they blink. The familiar knick-knacks are all packed away and the surfaces crowded with unfamiliar objects in bright colors and glittery highlights. Furniture has been re-arranged. The usual TV shows have been replaced by Charlie Brown, the Grinch, and variations on a story about a greedy old guy who seems absolutely clueless about other people and life in general, until a dark spooky figure scares the crap out of him. Life seems to be moving from party to activity to party. The kitchen is also set up to be an ornament factory and bakery, and the house is filled with the smell of cinnamon, ginger, and clove, until I spray it to add the smell of orange, pine, and balsam.

Can you say "stimulation overload"?

Wordless Wednesday: Preparing for the holidays

Lost Shoes

We missed the bus this morning.

If there is one thing I cannot stand, it is to not be able to find a pair of scissors. I am so bad at losing scissors, I buy them regularly. I was at an estate sales once and bought ten pairs. When I grandfather died, one of the things I claimed was a pair of scissors. I just bought two new pairs last week.

I have no idea where any of them are.

I have unfortunately passed this talent for losing important things to my son. This morning we needed to find Joey's shoes, like every morning. This had become such a problem over the summer that we designated a spot next to our front stairs for shoes. I have a bench in the front hall, the kind with three cubbies with baskets for holding... well, toys for us. Shoes go next to it. Of course, its been moved a little so I can fit the tree table and stand (the hall opens nicely into the living room). So I head over the the bench to grab Joey's shoes... and no shoes.

Under the couch? No shoes.

Under the kitchen table? The trampoline? The dining room table? No shoes.

Bathroom, bedroom, upstairs hall? No shoes.

Joey only really has one pair of shoes. I buy him good ones form Stride Rite. The good thing is he knows his shoes, and we don't have to worry about wanting one pair or another. The bad thing is if we lose them, they have to be found.

Joey's visual scanning and other skills he needs to find objects in a jumble are not good. I-Spy books frustrate him. He quickly figured out that his shoes were missing... and that I was quickly growing frantic trying to find them. This just made it worse, of course, and we were soon in full-meltdown (level 2). Asking Joey to please find his shoes only escalates the problem; if I can't find them, why should he?

So we tried some questions. Where did you take your shoes off? Where did you put them? When we came in from bike-riding, where did you go? I got nothing but more screaming and random pointing.

And then the bus horn beeped.

With no shoes, I had to send the bus on, which sent us to level 3.

It was another ten minutes before I found the shoes. Where were they?

Jammed behind the bench. Remember I said I moved the bench? He had put his shoes where they would be if I hadn't. Only the bench was now in the way...

Buying in bulk

I wrapped the gifts for Joey's and Andy's educational teams. We had seventeen to wrap for Joey, and four for Andy. How do we do it?

We buy in bulk. When we see a good deal on something, we buy them. Lots of them. I had gotten used to the concept when I was young, and Perrygo Christmas drew near. My dad has a sister and two brothers, and each have multiple children. To get through, we hit all sorts of sales and outlets to get the best deal for our dollars. My mom is a pro at seeking the best deals.

This year's deals were through Williamsburg. We got real Lenox dishes to fit our budget. We ordered 25 of them. I think the folks at the shop were a little freaked out. We also stocked up on some other items on sale for future presents- after all, the boys are going to be in school for a while. The storage problem is solved by keeping everything at my mom's office. I thought about keeping a blog of where the deals are, but then you'd all buy everything out and I'd not get these awesome gifts for my people. ;)

A few years back, Ross Simons was the most awesome site to get gifts in bulk. When Overstock first opened, it was also uber-awesome. Both of these sites are now too big for their britches, kind of like "outlet malls" which are now just retail strip malls, not "outlets." When I was very little, we would drive to Reading , Pennsylvania to go to the real factory outlets, like Carter's- but I wonder if they are still there, or have the factories all gone to China?

One of the tricks is to find websites of companies you like, and look for the online outlet. Decide how much to spend per person. Then stick to that. If they don't have stuff in budget, look for another good site. Most catalogue companies have websites now. Saves you gas an frustration of shopping, too.

Now I need to turn my attention to wrapping for the family. Woo-hoo!

Ten Years.

As I put up the ornaments and wrap the gifts, write the cards and hunt for a bayberry candle, I do think about that last telephone call. You just never know when something is going to be the last.

Here's hoping that it wasn't.

Merry Christmas, Love, Me

Ah, yes, the season of Christmas cards. I actually made plenty of pics to enclose this year, printed plenty of our holiday letter, even bought pens just for the purpose. Weeks ago, I noticed a bag full of boxes of Christmas cards somewhere in the guest room or attic as I was poking around. I also had a few boxes ready to go on the diningroom table. Oh good, I thought. I have a ton cards, I don't need to buy anymore.

This is a big deal. We all have our foibles. One of mine is buying loads and loads of Christmas cards, particularly just after Christmas, and storing them up for the grand Sending of the Cards. Then I would see pretty cards I liked right ater Thanksgiving, so I would buy more. And then the after-Christmas sales would come...

This began partly because I had an obsession with greeting cards when I was younger, and partly because I used to send out almost 250 cards. This year I am down to 127. I need lots of cards. However, I don't need truckloads of them each and every year. The idea that "I don't need to buy cards" would even cross my brain is just huge.

So I sat down to write my cards yesterday. Think I can find that bag o' cards now?

Oh ha ha.

The Witching Hour Strikes Again

It was so cold and raw and rainy and nasty yesterday, we decided it was best to just take Grandma home and pick her up this morning, rather than transfer her from our nice, warm, toasty car to her cold, clammy car to send her home. So we grabbed Joey from the bus and headed to Grandma's.

And then the Witching Hour struck.

I had two thundering elephants strapped into the backseat with no space to thunder in! So naturally, they started beating on each other. Loudly. Andy started throwing toys. Grandma finally has to take a toy away, and he started screaming. Joey started imitating him. You can imagine from there.

Cold. Tired. Wet. Miserable. The perfect storm for a Witching Hour. It was so bad, nobody got enough gold stars to get a prize (they are currently in love with glow sticks).

As the storm passed and we arrived home, my ears heaved a sigh of relief. They were so exhausted, we couldn't even bake cookies. Early story time with a few extra stories, then bed.

The good news is Joey did his homework perfectly this morning. And he's having his sleepover at Grandma's tonight, so we've been having fun talking about it. And Andy is sleeping in.

Wordless Wednesday: First Snow of the Winter

Modern Medicine to the Rescue

Thank you, God, for modern medicine.

My great-grandfather Conway was a Methodist minister, and his first church was to be in Buffalo, New York. He had three young sons (Buster, Bob, and Dick), a baby daughter (Barbie Hope) and a young wife to pack up and take from Baltimore to New York. What happened next is a bit of a mystery, and my clues are only family stories, I have no documentation (yet). What I can document is that the young wife returns without a husband and minus one son (Buster) to Baltimore, to move in with her husband's aunt.

According to family lore, my great-grandfather died of pneumonia from influenza, as did Buster. We originally thought Bob brought it home from school, but we now know they were gone before Bob was sent to school. We don't even think he made it to take on the church we was assigned in Buffalo. My great-grandmother was a single-parent working mother before such a thing was commonplace, trying to raise three children alone in Baltimore.

Joey has had three episodes of turning blue. Once he got severely chilled in school, and went cold. Then he had croup- with an onset like lightning. And now he's had pneumonia. So I find myself wondering if I would have my son if I had been my great-grandmother. Would by little Buddy have met the same fate as Buster?

Return of the Boy: Steel Trap Memory

Joey went to school today. I was a little nervous, and he seemed a little tired when he got home, but otherwise he's been OK. We even got some homework done with minimal grousing. He started money in school today, very exciting.

When he came home, we still had Grandma with us, and had to take her back to her office. He was happy to get to see Grandma and take a ride in the warm car (my house is older and tends to be cold- we need to replace the windows.) He also was happy to ask Grandma if he could come stay at her house!

We agreed that Friday would be a good day for Joey to have his turn at Grandma's. Andy is a little miffed (he wants to stay at Grandma's all the time, too).

"One at a time," Joey confirmed. "Only one can stay at Grandma's."
"That's right," we agreed.
"Yes, Grandma has a bad knee," Grandma offered as an explanation.
"Oh, I thought it was so you could focus the spoiling," I winked at her.

We got to the office with further repetitions of "One at a time" and "Grandma's on Friday!" and Andy suggesting every other day of the week for him to spend the night at Grandma's. It actually wasn't too bad for the Witching Hour.

Grandma started her goodbyes, with more assurances of Friday's big date.

"I'm so glad you are feeling better," Grandma expressed the feelings of us all.
"Does your knee hurt?" Joey asked unexpectedly.
After a blink, Grandma replied, "Well... yes, it does... but... thank you for asking!"
"I want to make your knee feel better."
"Just you asking makes it feel better," Grandma reassured him.
"Smiles make it feel better, too," I suggested- at which Joey promptly smiled wider at her.

That boy sure loves him some Grandma.

Shameless Plug: Holiday Shopping

Don't forget to visit the Joeymom Shop for your holiday shopping this year! If you want things by Christmas, you can still use "economy shipping" through Dec 10, "standard shipping" through Dec 15, Premium shipping through Dec 20, and overnight it through noon on Dec 22.

I especially recommend my snowflakes design for your winter wardrobe, the popular "Yes! You can ask me about Autism!" design to connect with others who need info, and check out our IEP fun section for IEP attitude ("I'm with attorney"!).

Come on, it's great fun, and it helps pay for speech therapy. Tell your friends.

Christmas wishes

The fact is, it is harder to get information from Joey than it is from Andy. When a child has communication issues, you have to really put in the effort to get what you need. Christmas can be one of those moments when I find myself wondering, What does Joey really want from Santa? How much of what I have is projecting what I think he wants?

With Andy, he makes things pretty plain. What he doesn't directly ask for, you can see him getting excited about things. If everything under the tree was a dinosaur, Zoboomafoo, or a construction set (legos, tools, etc), he'd be ecstatic.

But what about Joey? There isn't a lot of merchandise with Max and Ruby, and the books are a bit disappointing. He has a bike. He has his computer, and is very happy with the games there. He has plenty of the kind of blocks he likes. The fact is, as soon as we detect interest in something, we already do our best to support it. He has books and toys of fish, of firetrucks, of cars. What could he want?

So plan B: ask. Joey, what do you want Santa to bring you? What do you want for Christmas?




"Snow."

I can work with that.

Pneumonia update

The doctor switched us from the very icky white medicine to the less icky pink medicine. She said he should be good to go to school on Monday.

In the meantime, we have him camped out today on the livingroom couch. He was happy to see Andy for a while, but little brothers tend to be bouncy, and Joey needs to recover, so Grandma swooped by and bundled him off. Besides, I think Andy is getting a bit jealous of all the attention Joey has gotten. At Grandma's he can be in his glory.

Pneumonia

This morning Joey woke up- the boys slept in just a few minutes- smiling and saying, "School!" Ellora was chirruping for breakfast. Andy was giggling about being a nekkid butt. All was well with the world.

A little later, bundled up and waiting for the bus, without warning, Joey turned to me and said, "No school. Because I am coughing." My mommy sense twitched, but he wasn't feverish, he was smiling, and he was still looking out the window for the bus. So onto the bus he went with a note to his substitute teacher about my cell number, just in case. After all, he had stayed home sick yesterday.

One should not ignore a mommy sense twitch.

I got Andy off to school, finished up some stuff at the office, and picked him up. We went to lunch. We had ordered it when the call came.

Joey "wasn't breathing quite right." We paid, before the food came, and out the door we went. Poor Andy!

When I got there, it was more than "not breathing right." He had turned blue, and the nurse had measured his O2 saturation at 57! (the ER nurse was a bit skeptical about him being conscious with it that low, but the nurse actually wrote the numbers down for me- 57, 74, 94 in a 20-minute period.) They had him take many deep breaths and got it back to 94. Presented with the options available, she recommended the ER. Off to the ER we went. As I locked him in the car, he started another episode- his fingers were blue- but we got him to breathe like the nurse said and dashed to the ER (which is practically across the street). He was pinking up when we got there, no fever, saturation of 88-91, and coughing. We were put in a triage niche and waited.

Adventure one: bloodwork. We had to take him to the lab and I hugged him in the lab chair while three very patient phlebotomists got they blood they needed from him. He screamed the entire time, but held his arm still. I can't say I blame him. The lab folks always say things like "this will pinch" but I feel the $*#^$(^ needle in my arm the whole time (IV lines and shunts drive me to distraction!). I would say Joey does, too.

Adventure two: x-rays. After waiting outside the x-ray lab with a very patient Andy and Grandma at our side, we got our picture taken. He actually did a lot better than I expected, considering he clearly had no clue what the tech was asking him to do. Unlike last time, this tech was willing to set up the guards and help Joey out by holding up his hands, and keeping him in position, and giving him extra demonstration of how to hold his breath. Consequently we got each pic on the first try, and much faster.

Adventure three: nebulizer. Next we had a breathing treatment. At first Joey was OK with it, but as the few minutes wore on, he got anxious about getting the mask and mist in his eyes (which were bothering him because his temperature was starting to creep up), and it got uncomfortable for him. We had a hard time getting him to calm down and breathe instead of crying, fussing, and barking. However, it seemed to work, he was breathing better.

Adventure four: waiting. We were shown back to the waiting room to await test results. Joey's fever shot through the roof, and he fell asleep on a couple of chairs. By now, poor Andy was ravenous, so we sought out the gift shop for food (the cafeteria wasn't open yet, and we had no change for the vending machines). The child survived the afternoon on potato chips, Cheetos, and gummy worms, with apple juice. Joey took a few swallows of orange juice and a gummy shark before we were finally called back to a larger room in the ER (not just a triage chair).

Adventure five: the good news and the bad news. Dad arrived with his iPod, to the joy, relief, and distraction of the boy. He got to watch movies of himself while waiting for the doctor. The PA came to tell us it was a touch of pneumonia in his right lung, and his bloodwork indicated massive infection. The bad news: Joey was getting an antibiotic shot. The good news: by getting a shot, he could go home, because modern medicine rocks. The nurse who came in to give him the shot was the gruffest person we encountered the entire time. I suspect her demeanor had something to do with the three "code yellows" that came in while we were waiting (since something about "trauma" was mentioned, and there were three Stafford ambulances outside, I suspect there was a car accident with multiple injuries), rather than her personality or professionalism. I think we really struck a chord when Joey started really losing it (he was very upset about having to have a shot in the first place, so the actual moment we had worked ourselves into a bit of a fit) after the shot was over, because he was "broken". She got confused and asked, "what's broken?" and I explained that he's autistic and that is his way of saying he wasn't feeling well. She got the oddest look on her face, kind of like when realization smacks you hard. She fetched him a popsicle.

Adventure six: vital signs. After an antibiotic shot, you sit and make sure there will be no allergic reaction, the nurse comes to take your vital signs, then they do the release stuff. Makes sense. However, Joey was very, very, very done, and to have that blood pressure cuff squeeze his arm again, which is very uncomfortable for him, just put him over the edge. We fortunately had an excellent nurse who took good care of Joey and just kept talking and helping Joey understand he had to stay still and quiet. We finally got the stats they wanted, and I could finally take him home and get some advil in him to get the fever down.

He's tucked into bed now. His fever is down, he's feeling better, he got to watch TV in Mom's bed for a while and has five, count them, five glow sticks to play with. He ate crackers and ice cream for me, and drank some pomegranate soda (it's by 7-Up, and yes, you should try some, it's magnificent- and only around for the holidays, which kind of sucks). I got his meds filled and so we are on the road to recovery. Andy is staying with Grandma, so both boys should be getting some R&R.

Wordless Wednesday: Artful Boys

(and the fate of the Turkey Hat)

Sick Boy

Joey is home sick today. Whenever I hear "I'm sick. No school today because I'm sick" I always check it out. Especially since our start with Ms. Sc, Joey has again been all about school. We definitely had a long night, with increased coughing. I think if Andy wasn't bouncing on him this morning, he would have slept like Ellora did this morning (we couldn't find her all morning- she didn't appear until after 1!). We got the cough under mostly control with some meds, and otherwise he just seemed tired.

Then the fever appeared. I now have that under control, too, but it just goes to remind me: Joey knows when he's not right. When he says "no school" it is a good idea to find out why.

A Tangle of Days

The holidays are upon us, and time swishes by like Santa in his miniature sleigh with eight tiny reindeer. The guys feel that speed, the excitement, the anticipation; ad I do my best to share with them the magic, the joy, the love that goes into Christmas here. I also do my best to not go insane. It's an interesting tangle.

Meanwhile, life continues.

Joey wasn't feeling so good this morning. He didn't eat much for me yesterday, and he didn't eat today (I emailed his teacher about it, so she kept me apprised). He wanted a sandwich for dinner, but he didn't eat it, he just carried it around on its plate. I think what he really wanted was the routine of having food. I was supposed to take them to Chuck E. Cheese, but with Joey feeling off, I thought it might be a dangerous plan. Stomach bugs can be nasty and sudden.

Andy had a lovely tantrum at the end of the day, because I tried to talk to him about his habit of co-opting Joey's toys. In particular, there is a small blue plastic bin that belongs to Joey, and Andy decided he wanted it. The chorus of "Mine! Mine!" commenced, upsetting Joey (who wanted his bin). Yes, tantrum city. Biting, kicking, screaming, total tantrum- we even reached a level one meltdown at one point, where all we could do was hug him and not let him kick things. Yikers.

On the other hand, he was a perfect angel at lunch, despite noise, crowds, and not our usual table. He ate his lunch and gabbled about his food and his coloring and his dinosaurs, the other people in the restaurant, school... a charming little four-year-old boy.

If I can get everybody even-keel, I plan to upset the schedule by pulling everybody during the week to go up to Baltimore and visit Valley View and the trains at Kenilworth. After their trip to Chuck E. Cheese. Oh, and in the middle of putting up garlands and trees. And...

As we ease into the "holiday mode" we'll have fewer hiccups, it will become something of a baseline norm. But now, as the decorations start to go up and realization of impending fun and excitement dawns, we're in for some roller-coastering. Because hey, they're kids, and its Christmas. It's still a bit of a tangle.

A tale of two boys

Joey likes blue.
Andy likes red.

Joey likes the computer.
Andy likes the TV.

Joey wants to watch Cars.
Andy wants to watch Zoboomafoo.

Joey eats Mac and Cheese.
Andy eats calamari.

Joey likes cars and fish.
Andy likes dinosaurs.

Joey dislikes the heat.
Andy dislikes the cold.

Joey likes to motor-mouth.
Andy prefers silence.

Joey likes chocolate.
Andy likes jelly beans.

Joey cannot stand mint.
Andy would eat the toothpaste if I didn't hide it.

Joey likes to carry his Bus.
Andy likes to carry his Blankie.

Joey only eats blueberry-flavored applesauce.
Andy eats any applesauce except blueberry flavored applesauce.

Ah, the diversity of humanity, in my own little house. Both of my beautiful, wonderful, squishy boys!!!

Crossing Herald Square

I recommend making bacon turkey.

We had a nice, quiet Thanksgiving- a good thing, because both boys are coughing their heads off. Consequently, we are also having a quiet Black Friday. I have a fire in the fireplace, Zaboomafu on the TV, and Max and Ruby on the kitchen computer. the boys haven't had a single quarrel. Andy make a scratch-snowflake and a sticker picture. Joey has drawn from conversation story-boards. Yes, life is quiet here at the homestead.

The most important thing that happens on Thanksgiving day? Santa crosses Herald Square, of course! That was the only part of the parade the boys were impressed with at all- and they weren't that impressed. However, we can now take down the fall decorations, and get ready for the sparkles and twinkles of Christmas to be upon us! So I've been spending this nice quiet day very quietly taking down hand turkeys, pumpkins, pheasants, pilgrims, and leaves. When will I get the chance to put out Christmas?

I have no idea.

(The trauma continues)

While the boys are quiet and resting (and hopefully getting better- having a quiet day is nice, but not at the cost of my guys feeling bad. :( ) I also need to dig up recipes for leftover turkey. Think that is the #1 Google search today? I have less turkey left than I expected- partly because the cats broke into the container I had packed for Evan while I putting the boys in last night, and ate every last scrap. At least they got a Thanksgiving feast. :)

So welcome to the holiday season. I love Christmas.


Santa crosses Herald Square.

Wordless Wednesday: Happy Thanksgiving!

Bring on the holidays!

Andy's Turn

Yes, what a day we had here. We started off with a near meltdown because my neighbor decided to walk a dog this morning when the bus was running on the late side. I managed to get Joey inside and calmed down, but we weren't at the curb when the bus came- and of course, it was the sub driver. Grrrr,

Anyway, I got him off to school. Then I got Andy packed up with his sweet potatoes. Then i ran around most of the morning trying to get my mom's prescription refilled, and failed. Then, after OT, it was Andy's turn to stay at Grandma's!

The boys played very nicely together while I helped Grandma do some cleaning. I was so proud of them. Then I kissed Andy goodbye, loaded up Joey, and off we went.

Joey wasn't very chatty on the way home, but I got him to talk a little about his day, and Thanksgiving, and how he wanted to go to Grandma's on Friday, and he liked being at Grandma's. We stopped and got some DQ, which made him happy. The one thing he wanted to do most was watch Where the Wild Things Are, so we wandered home and did that.

Then the slumber party began.

He wanted to pet the cat, and talked about being gentle and keeping the cat safe, and how soft she was. He wanted to sing songs and sign the alphabet. He wanted to hang out with Mom and Dad and play on the computers. We looked at the blog. He liked to lay on me, and he wanted to be tickled.

We had a magnificent time.

The only mention we had of Andy was when Joey realized Andy's room was dark. He didn't like that, and he wanted me to turn on the nightlight for Andy. I had to explain that Andy was at Grandma's, so he didn't need his light. Joey sighed and said, "i miss Andy." I gave him a big hug and assured him Andy would be home tomorrow.

Those boys sure do love each other.