Saturday Retrospective: Once Upon a Time

For those of you who haven't figured it out, these are pictures of my grandparents.

When it rains, it pours

OK, friend #2, looks like we might be entering the world of special ed and possibly ASD... any of you folk from Massachusetts?

Dark Corners

Ever have a situation you really, really wanted to blog about, but decided not to, because you were afraid that any information you needed to get anything useful from it would endanger the privacy of someone else? I have one of those going on in the background. I have a friend who is having a lot of problems supporting and helping her little one. I love them both dearly, and have been thinking hard of anything that might help, and I'm running out of ideas fast. Normally, I would now take such a problem to you, my very creative, supportive, and intelligent readers, but this isn't my child, and the situation is very delicate.

So instead, unless I get some cue of a green light to put this out there, please just pray hard for my friends. God will know who you mean. Thanks.

Driving in my car

(anything in italics below should be imagined spoken in stero)

"I need that one I need that one I need that one I need that one I need that one I need that one I need that one I need that one I need that one..."
"We're trying to get the school to do a sensory profile for the IEP."
"Oh? What's that?"
"I...gaaaaaaa...crAAAAAkrs..."
"NNNOOOOOOOOOO JOE-WY!!!"
"We answer a bunch of questions about how Joey responds to stuff, and the OT determines if there's a problem."
"I need that one I need that one I need that one I need that one I need that one I need that one I need that one I need that one I need that one I need that one I need that one I need that one I need that one I need that one I need that one I need that one!"
"I didn't think the school OT did sensory stuff. Something about it not being academically necessary?"
"I want to go POOOOOOOOOOOTTY!"
"Ujuswenpottie!"
"I want to go POOOOOOOOOOOTTY!"
"Ujuswenpottie!"
"Apparently they sent her to a workshop or something, and someone told them we ought to be doing this. I think his teacher figured out we were supposed to be doing this. Julie's very keen to have all her kids have one."
"Well, that's good."
"I need that one I need that one I need that one I need that one I need that one I need that one ineedthaoneineedthaoneineedthaoneineedthaoneineedthaoneineedthaoneineedthaoneineedthaone!"
"Yeah, we've been really really happy with Julie and the whole teaching crew this year. He's coming right along."
"I want to go POOOOOOOOOOOTTY!"
"Ujuswenpottie!"
"I want to go POOOOOOOOOOOTTY!"
"Ujuswenpottie!"
"I need that one I need that one I need that one I need that one I need that one I need that one I need that one I need that one I need that one I need that one I need that one I need that one I need that one I need that one I need that one I need that one I need that one I need that one I need that one I need that one I need that one I need that one I need that one I need that one !"
"Except today."
"At least they're in harmony."

Ooo!!! Memememememe!!! (Five Things)

Wow, abfh tagged me for a meme! Woo-hoo!!! It's the Five Things Meme. List five things!

5 things found in your bag:

I do not carry a purse or bag. How boring is that? In the wallet I clip to my belt loop, I have pictures of the boys, addresses of folks from Wee Time and folks who want specific info about autism services here, my bank card, my credit card, and my driver's liscense, And a few other cards.

5 favorite things in your room:

I have the paintings by my grandmother, my favorite photos of my boys, my favorite chair, my printer's drawer (with knick-knacks- like my great-grandmother's miniature plates and sewing kit), and my balsam-stuffed bear. One good hug, and the world smells wonderful.

5 things you have always wanted to do:

I'd like to see Egypt and any number of museums and sites all over the world (I'm an art historian after all), lose weight and keep it off, learn to make pottery, clean my house (no, really), hug my brother.

5 things you are currently into:

Blogging (including I Can Haz Cheezburger?), squishing boys while planning the summer, The Lord of the Rings, getting my garden to rights, genealogy.

5 people you’d like to tag:

Hmmmm... I'd like to tag Maddy at Whitterer on Autism, Niksmom at Maternal Instincts, Stimey at Stimeyland, Evan at Kiribako (and yes, I expect you to this), and Ghkcole at Rooster Calls.

Wordless Wednesday: Ms. Frizzles at the Art Show

Mixed bag

What a day. We started by running up to Lorton and picking up a pair paintings done by my grandmother- absolutely fabulous ones, the paintings look good, though reframed. Andy was a charming little angel at the gallery. Kept his hands to himself, asked cute questions, and spread that grin around generously. What a sugar-pie!

Joey had a great day at school. His afternoon teacher, Mrs. S, even came out when I picked up to tell me how great he did, paying attention and listening, and being able to answer questions about what was read. Another charming gentleman.

So of course they turned into wild freaks for the afternoon.

Actually, I am partly to blame, not keeping good techniques for motivation in mind, being tired myself, and over-scheduling. Joey had speech therapy, and then we had the art show at Andy's school. The boys like nothing better than to run wild while I am trying to talk to Ms. Nikki, and today was no exception. However, "sit down!" is not really a great way to get compliance. I think waiting to give out prizes until AFTER the discussion may be better, or having the prize box handy, until I can get them to calm down themselves. (It's not bribery. It's positive reinforcement.)

Andy did some lovely pieces for the show. The show is a fundraiser for the school, so you pay $15 to get the two pieces your kid made, but they do it up right. He made a bear sculpture, and a sand painting of a spider for the 2-D. They added a little picture of him posing as a French artiste, complete with tam and palette, to the corner of the painting- very cute. Tey also had a silent auction for some photos and scrapbooks of the kids, I put in a bid on a photo of the class that was cute. We'll see- the folks at this school are for the better part that "in-crowd" of wealthy folk, its a popular school and a good one. I'm sure shelling out $50 for a pic of the kid is nothing to a good many of these people. So we'll just see.

Anyhoo, there was a bit of chaos as people crammed in to the classroom to find their kids' work, and it got overwhelming fast. Then we had the grand idea to take them out to pizza for dinner, after they were overwhelmed and wound up. They did OK under the circumstances, though the waitress was clearly eager for us to eat and leave.

I was glad to get my Ms. Frizzles to bed where they can take a breath and get some rest.

Results of the day:

Blogging Against Disablism

Yes, folks, here it comes! May 1 is Blogging Against Disablism Day. I hope to have lots of nice shiny new posts to link to and refer parents to when they have questions, problems, and as we all learn together to be accepting of our children, and of others generally. Diversity is a wonderful thing. Come plant a flower in the garden, and we'll all grow together.

Assessment-By-Phone?

You might recall from last year that we are having a bit of a problem with the school OT understanding the whole area of sensory integration dysfunction. This year, the school has invested in sensory profile kits or something of the sort, so his teacher suggested we have one done for Joey by us, by both his teachers, and hopefully by our private OT. However, this all has to be done under the auspices of the school OT. It's her province, after all. Her turf. Her kingdom. Lack of training or experience be damned.

So we get it all set up, except the OT needs to be tracked down to sign the paperwork. So of course, instead of just sending the profile home, she has decided she needs to "discuss" it over the phone. At least, that was what the first message said- she wanted to discuss the profiles, and it would take about 15 minutes.

That sounds OK. A profile is an evaluation, and I can understand requirements to explain to parents what the evaluation is and is intended to discover, even if said parent has been through the evaluation process before. I know what a sensory profile is and what it is for, but there are procedures to be followed. Fine.

Communication issues have scuttled the attempts to make phone contact, but I am really, really worried about the phone message today. According to the message, this phone interview will now take 20 minutes, and will consist of yes/no questions. Am I going nuts, or does that sound to anybody else like this lady is going to try to do this over the phone?

I was concerned enough to email her about my confusion, which was probably a mistake, but I don't want to do this over the phone. I want the questionnaire in hand, so my husband and I can properly discuss the questions and provide the most accurate information we have about Joey's reactions and behaviors, and try to get an honest assessment of his sensory needs. I'm not talking about agonizing over every little detail, but certainly a "yes/no" over the phone doesn't seem accurate or appropriate. Or am I just getting the dander up? Perhaps she has other yes/no questions to ask? Besides, the other profiles I did were gradients, not yes/no. Did anybody do one that was yes/no?

Chatty Cathy

So the boys have now gotten into The Magic School Bus. This is good, because Joey was having trouble with science, and this show gives him great visuals to understanding some of the basic concepts.

It was rainy today (hence all the new posts and designs), and the boys were feeling off-kilter, so we watched a lot of Magic School Bus, as well as Oobi, Pixar movies, and various episodes of Little Bear. In other words, we watched way too much TV. But in all that, Joey was talking non-stop all day. Yes, you read that correctly. Non-stop words.

Is it raining? It's raining, Daddy. I think it is raining. Wet. Rain is wet. It is raining. Oobi! I like Oobi. Are you Oobi? I am Oobi. Vroom! I am a car. I am a fast car. I am a red car. I am go this way. I am go potty. I want to go park. Spell park? Spell Park, Daddy? P=A=R=K, park. I like to play in the park. Kitty! Chase the Kitty! Don't chase the kitty, Andy.

At the end of the day, he decided he was Ms. Frizzle. Then Andy decided he wanted to be Ms. Frizzle. So I had two Ms. Frizzles. Of course, Allan and I had to be Liz, partly to show Andy they could both be Ms. Frizzle at the same time, no problem. Joey had me put an M on his chest (for "Ms. Frizzle") and Andy wisely wanted an F (for "Frizzle"), and they zoomed about the room driving the Magic School Bus and being Ms. Frizzle, complete with Joey giving us all her standard lines ("Do your stuff, Bus!" "As I always say..." "To the Bus!" "Fasten your seatbelts, everyone!")

We sent Ms. Frizzles up for bathtime. They are still insisting on being called "Ms. Frizzle." Should make for an interesting story time- the book tonight is The Magic School Bus Plants Seeds.

New Design again

Giggle Break

moar funny pictures


see more crazy cat pics

New Design

Well, SOMEBODY has to make a few bucks off of bumper stickers. Might as well be me, right?

Why JoeyAndyDad ROCKS.

1. He does laundry.
2. He does dishes.
3. When the computer isn't working, i can hand it to him, and it becomes magically fixed, usually in under ten minutes.
4. He loves to play with the boys.
5. I can leave him with the boys and go grocery shopping without a second thought.
6. If I give him a list to go to the grocery store for me, he almost always returns with everything that was on the list. And when he doesn't, its because the store didn't have it.
7. If I send him to the grocery store with a list, he almost always also picks up the thing I forgot to put on the list.
8. He likes to give the boys a bath.
9. He works his butt off to be good at his job so he can get a really big raise and keep the roof over our heads- while I can stay home and work bit part-time gigs and get everybody to therapy.
10. He's an excellent kisser. And foot masseuse.

I love my Allan. He totally rocks.

No. Not going here.

So last night, Joey discovered that you can use poo to write words on the toilet seat.

Allan kept his cool, explained that this was unacceptable behavior, had him clean it up, and continued with bedtime routine.

Unfortunately, this all occurred in front of Andy. So when Andy was at school, and had a nice little BM (which is unusual at school), he decided to try out Joey's little trick.

No. no. no. We are not going here.

Campaigns

We are embarking on several new campaigns here. Well, we are planning on embarking. Maybe we'll actually get started. Eventually.

The problem is: when to begin? As we know, major changes to routine upset a child, especially one with autism, and can make any campaign an instant and unmitigated failure. We have some big disruptions on the horizon.

The big campaign for Joey is "staying in bed." This will involve returning him to his own bed at night instead of letting him curl up with us. With summer coming, it will be more comfortable for everyone; and besides, the child is now six years old. Time to stay in your own bed. I am making several adjustments to Joey's room in anticipation of the campaign- but then, those changes are, in and of themselves, disruptions. I am getting fans ready for circulation, rearranging furniture to maximize space and ease of use, setting up the computer so he can play his games up there, and re-adjusting the comfy corner to be more comfy.

For Andy, we are considering a new "sit and eat" campaign, trying to get him to stay at his chair during mealtimes- but more importantly, at the table with everyone else. I am prepping the kitchen table for his return to the family circle. Again, changes that are disruptions all by themselves.

But the real disruption upon the horizon? The coming absence of the husband. Folks, please congratulate JoeyAndyDad on his promotion!!! Woo-hoo!!! He has worked really hard and done a spectacular job. He got a fabulous raise, and now he's moving up the career path to the next position! This being awesomely cool, and wonderful, and all, it also includes two weeks' training in Virginia Beach. We get to spend the weekend there with him, but during the week, I am going to be winging it all by my lonesome. The boys are sure to notice that mom, and not dad, is bathing them and putting them to bed every night for two weeks.

So is this really the time to begin campaigns of such a major nature? I have already voted a nix on the Joey campaign. It can wait a few weeks at this point. Besides... I need my cuddlebug to get me through two weeks without the love of my life by my side.

Joe Snow

My friend MonkeyGirl is supporting the Joe Snow Memorial Bass Tournament. Joe Snow was a paramedic who gave his life trying to save two young boys. The money raised goes to support Mr. Snow's sons.

I never knew Joe Snow. But I have met some wonderful people here who came to my home and saved my Joey. And I read MonkeyGirl and Ambulance Driver and on occasion a few other EMS- connected blogs, because they are interesting people who save lives for a living. How about that- they save lives for a living. As MonkeyGirl says- it's just what they do.

So folks, we all have families and challenges and know small things can be done in great ways. Here's one way to just let these folks know how much you appreciate them: head over to MonkeyGirl's blog and give to the Joe Snow Memorial Bass Tournament. Give two young men a big hug. And hug your own little guys and gals tight.

From Andy's Point of View

To give Andy something to do during Joey's birthday- mostly to distract him from the fact that he was not the center of all attention- Grandma gave him a couple of toss-away cameras to take pictures. He had a lot of fun with them. Here's some of the pictures- the world from Andy's point of view!

Drumming

Joey has been taking drumming lessons for a good long while now. They are supposed to be good for his bilateral coordination, and he was enchanted with drums and music when we started. Lately, we have been seriously considering discontinuing them.

First, the rules kinda got changed on us. The guy who was running the lessons and I had a kind of unspoken agreed understanding about how this was working with us- we paid week-to-week, instead of by the month, and we had some flexibility where if Joey was sick or having a particularly bad day, we could cancel without having to pay for the missed lesson (technically, we are supposed to pay and then have a "make up" lesson, but when would Joey be able to "make up" a lesson?) Now that guy is sick, and the fellow in his place wants us to pay for the whole month, and the lesson we missed when Joey was sick (even though the teacher has a very sick father and so asked us to please cancel if Joey is sick). I paid up, but it really makes these lessons expensive, and the new lack of flexibility means I really need to give it some thought about continuing.

On top of that, and far more relevant, Joey has been doing the "I don't wanna" dance. "I don't want go Mr. Shelby. No Mr. Shelby today." Joey has been increasingly sensitive to noise, so that we started using earplugs for the lessons- and that helped for a while, but now not so much. Today the drum was "scary". This is exactly the kind of shift in sensory trouble and attitude that I was worried about- why we had that week-to-week idea in the first place. He seems to perk up about halfway through the lesson. But is that enough? If this isn't fun, what's the point?

I'd wait it out until our other guy is back, but we're not sure when that will be, and time is short- I have to give two weeks' notice, and before I pay for another whole month of lessons Joey may not want- and that would be now. :P On the other hand, is Joey really not interested now, or is there something else going on? Has being sick knocked him for a bigger loop than anticipated, and he just wants to stay home for an afternoon, and Mondays are particularly tiring? Should I just try to juggle the appointments and find a different lesson day? It's not like I can just ask Joey and expect a direct answer to decide the matter.

Bouncing Around My Head

I collect quotes. When I was a child racing about trying to figure out who I was, I had a way of connecting meaning to quotes, attaching ideas and emotions to them, weaving them into webs of understanding. Snippets of things would bounce about my head making connections, and those connections would knit into the fabric of thinking. I think Joey does this, which is why echoing is so much easier for him than coming up with his own words. It's a shorthand for what would take him a ton of energy to create himself with his own words. He has other things to do and to think about, and I really do think language is tiring for him. Anyway, things bounce about and make the warp and weft of memory and being. What to do with them?

So here's what's been bouncing about my head lately. It becomes something of an odd mantra of meanings and connections, and flavors the way I think about other things.



Do you know who I am?
Do I know who you are?
See we one another clearly?
Do we know who we are?


“Like I always say, keep an open mind, and you never know who might walk in!”


Why should I cry for you?
Why would you want me to?
What would it mean to say
That I loved you in my fashion?


So you think you can tell
Heaven from Hell
Blue skies from pain.
Can you tell a green field
From a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?


Well maybe I'm too close to see you clearly
Or is it now my role to simply believe?
You're just one of those mysteries
That may never be solved in time
But you do
You do
You shine.



No, I have no idea what it all means. I just know the webs of meaning that I am tatting in my brain.